Refuge in Darkness
by Anlynne
Summary: It has been two years since Edward left Bella in the forest. Now, everything is about to change...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Set In Stone

Jasper Hale watched her from where he stood on the campus. Two years after his brother Edward left her she had attended college. He expected her to change as any human would, but what he didn't expect was how much she remained the same.

She still had the same long, dark chestnut hair, her wide, oddly deep brown eyes, her mannerisms. All of it was the same. He adored how she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, a shy and nervous habit she had. She blushed as a boy winked at her as she walked out of the double-wide doors of the music hall. The heated blood contained in her cheeks sent a fire ripping through his throat. He snapped his teeth down, clenched his hands into fists and stayed where he was. He _would_ control himself. He focused on her, not her blood.

The differences he expected were not the differences he hoped for. They were frightening. She didn't smile or laugh. She walked numbly. A zombie. There were dark circles under her eyes, paler than he'd ever seen her with his perfect vision. She was almost as pale as him, and he was colorless.

From where she sat on the bench bent over a notebook, the wind caught her hair. It swirled around her, and led her undeniably delicious fragrance to him. He swallowed his mouth full of venom at the Jasmine that filled him, but he restrained himself. He worked hard on dominating his vampire urges, just for the moment to be in her presence. To watch her and be sure that she was okay and she was happy.

He had every intention of leaving, but he couldn't, not when there wasn't a smile. She was unhappy, a longing set in stone washing towards him. He felt it crashing into him. He held onto the tree he hid behind, keeping his posture upright.

She scrawled on her paper fast and hard. She brought her watch up to her face and suddenly stood to leave. She tripped over the leg of the bench and he fought not to go and help her. Her calf scraped the side of the seat, but she didn't bother to look down to see if she did any damage. There was no aroma of blood and so he figured himself safe. He still wasn't strong enough to resist the fresh life force.

Hurried to make it to her next class she raced off, though not quite running. She was being careful at least, but he gazed after her, telling himself that it was to be sure she didn't injure herself. The truth was that he was memorizing each of her movements. The sway of her hips, her clumsy steps, and her emotionless face.

There was a reason he stared at her expression, because he didn't need to. He could feel emotions of everyone around him, and he could manipulate them. With Bella though, he didn't like what he felt, it was worse than those of teenagers who were psychological roller coasters. She was... Dead.

If only she smiled or gave some contentment and not the numbness she was giving off. It was the only thing he wanted to see or feel, it would give him the excuse to leave, but he couldn't. Not without what he looked for.

Jasper didn't say much to Edward when he announced to the family that they had to leave. He told him that he was sorry for attacking her. That day haunted him; everyone knew, but it didn't matter. Nothing anyone said helped, Edward was going to leave her and for that the rest of them were forced to as well. Esme had shook with tears she couldn't shed, Alice yelled at him, Emmett shoved him through the wall. Rosalie was the only one happy about it, going on about how it was the best thing to do. Who was she to decide?

He tried not to be bothered by it, but being around her during the time him and Alice were hiding her from James, he knew he would miss her deeply. Not her scent - that was something he couldn't miss, but her. Her selfless feelings, her love and beauty. He would never forgive himself for attacking her on her birthday, he had been the cause of all of it, the pain that was in her then as he watched her. She suffered more than if Edward hadn't blocked him. He flinched at what the outcome of that would've been. He'd never forgive himself. He'd taken many lives, more than he cared to count, but if he took hers... He'd never live with himself.

It wasn't to say that Edward was innocent. He put the final nail in the coffin, as inappropriate as that was to even think under the circumstances, it was true. Jasper was sorry, so sorry and agonized and appalled but not surprised that Bella forgave him immediately. It was her, and he knew her, knowing her emotions and knowing how good she was. Edward's actions didn't promote him to deserve her. He wished he could've told her that. She deserved someone that made her undeniably happy because her misery was more than anyone should have had to stand.

He thought back to what his sister Alice told him, the image of her standing in front of him in their house in New York, hands on her hips. He hated the furious look she gave, it was nearly impossible to resist.

_"You better go and see her," she said in her threatening tone. She genuinely was a frightening monster, being a vampire not included. Her glare was more murderous than her razor sharp teeth. "She's at Peninsula College," she continued on. "I have your plan ticket ready, your clothes are packed. All you have to do is go. You have to leave in an hour."_

_He repeated himself for the fifth time. "We shouldn't interfere. We promised Edward."_

_"That doesn't matter! I've seen her, Jazz. Bella's unhappy. It hurts to see, and I can't do it anymore! Please? I know you care for her -"_

_"She's a human as any other."_

_"This is Bella."_

_"And since Edward refused to change her, it makes her human. Don't get me wrong, she's different, a breath of fresh air, actually. That doesn't change anything. We have to honor the promise we made."_

_"He's being stubborn and stupid!"_

_"We're in agreement."_

_"She's my best friend, and she's sad..."_

_He sighed. "What do you know that I don't, Alice?"_

_"I know this is the way it has to be. The way it was always meant to be."_

Alice had done all the things she said she would, which he'd never questioned. She always kept her promises, no matter how extravagant. The more exuberant the better, and because of that he carried five unnecessary suitcases with him. He thought it was superfluous as he was certain it was just a short trip. He would see that Bella was alive and happy, and he would leave content.

Alice's visions had never been wrong before, but he hoped. For some reason, for the first time, he wanted more than anything for her to be wrong, not because he could go home, but because he wanted to see Bella happy.

It was a good thing he could shatter stones with ease, because he was going to shatter the stone that Bella had become.

***

For her father, for her mother, Bella Swan would live. Some didn't choose happiness, happiness didn't choose them. Some didn't get a chance. She lived for others, for their happiness. Hers no longer mattered, it didn't exist.

Two years ago the man she lived for left her in the woods. It was for her own good, somewhere along the way she saw that. He was constantly trying to make her see how dangerous he was for her, and she did see that. No one could have ever hurt her the way he did. He proved his point, but he wasn't coming back to see that she saw. He would never understand that she knew the dangers, and she didn't care. Somewhere along the way, she accepted that it wasn't him she missed, that broke her heart. It was the family she wanted to be with. They all left her.

She attended college and had a part time job at a local coffee shop within walking distance from her studio apartment. She refused all the money that Edward had tried to send her, she was determined to make it on her own. It wasn't true that she didn't need the money but it was true that she was too stubborn to take it. He had done too much for her as it was. The little time they had together was worth more than any words could describe and taking his money would've been overkill.

It felt as though they were trying to kill her. Forgoing drinking her blood, they decided to kill her with the kindness that were a trademark of the Cullen's (as was their vegetarian nature). Instead she chose to keep all the dignity she had left and apply for financial aid, and from the little money she made a the coffee shop she applied for an apartment. It was better than sharing a dorm with someone that would only irritate her.

The place only consisted of one room, not including the bathroom. She made the limited space into a bedroom, adding only a desk in the corner for her studies. It was all that she needed.

She made her way across the neatly mowed lawn to her next class. History. She had yet to decide on a major. She took any class that seemed to interest her. What did a person decide to be when a vampire was out of the question?

She walked into the massive white building and up the two flights to go inside of a large room. She sat in the back corner as was her usual. As far away from all contact as she could get. She gazed out of the window overlooking where she had just came from.

The professor had begun his lecture on medieval tactics but it faded as background noise. She leaned further to the window, seeing a familiar pale, blond man walking to the bench where she had sat at only earlier. He reclined back, his elbows on the table, his hands limp. He raised his face to the darkening sky, the wind ruffling his wavy hair.

She had leaned so far her nose was nearly pressed against the window. Then, her chair tipped over, and she toppled to the cold linoleum.

"Miss Swan? Are you okay?" The professor had paused while turning a page, ignoring the laughter of the rest of the class.

"I'm fine, sir." She brushed herself off, and looked back out the window hoping that it wasn't her imagination. She had worked too hard to start seeing things, but chagrin descended on her as she saw that the man she thought she saw, wasn't there.

"Miss Swan?"

She shook her head and took her seat. "Sorry, sir," she mumbled, not taking her eyes off the window, waiting, hoping, that he would return. It didn't have to be him, it could have been anyone, just as long as something happened to stand as evidence that she was not dreaming.

Her professor continued his lecture, but she didn't listen. She wouldn't stop waiting for the whole lesson. Just in case, but she knew better. It couldn't have been him. It was too good to be true. The Cullen's were gone, every one of them. They weren't coming back, her fairytale was over and she should have known. The originals didn't have happy endings.

* * *

A/N: If you like my style of writing you may want to read my young adult fantasy novel. The link can be found in my profile.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sweet Dreams, Bella

Like a bad traffic accident one could not forget, Jasper stayed there in Bella's mind for the rest of the day. Pasted behind her eyelids where bright colors once danced with no rhyme was him on the bench, his face lifted to the rolling black clouds. He was breathtaking in a way she had never seen him before, and she wished she could rid of the picture. It was tempting and terrible. Had she finally snapped? Gone so far out of her mind that she was imagining them? If she was or wasn't, the question of "why Jasper" didn't change. Why him? She was closer to Emmett than she was _Jasper!_

She fell asleep that night with difficultly, tossing and turning in ways she hadn't done since Edward left. That night was the first night she dreamt of Jasper.

_In her history class, in her usual seat by the window, she pressed her nose against the glass. The sun was shining and he wouldn't have been there, but she couldn't help but press harder. It was as if the straining of the glass could bring him there. Then, magically, he appeared gliding out of the woods onto the empty grounds, glittering like a majestic diamond angel._

_She cried out in happiness and yelled. No sound came and she screamed, banged her fists on the window. "Jasper," she bellowed, "Jasper!"_

_He didn't see her, he lifted his face up to the sun, and held out his arms. He was going to fly away, she knew it. She had to make him stay. He couldn't leave her, she had just found him. It wasn't fair. Nothing was ever fair._

Not again,_ she thought despairingly. _This has to stop.

_Then, the light shined brighter, blinding her. She covered and coward. When it was gone, so was he._

_Her angel had flown away._

Every night for a week she dreamt of him. Through her hazy dreams she walked through her normal day. It was a day like any other except he was there, somewhere. It would be at a distance, out of her sight, but she knew he was watching. He would be just inside of the woods or outside of the window. It would have been creepy for anyone else, to feel that they had a vampire stalker dream dropping, but for her it brought solace. It almost felt like he was keeping an eye out for her. Why him? She had no idea.

Bella was beginning to fear that it was making her paranoid. She checked around her whenever she felt that someone was watching her. She was sure it was just the dreams messing with her mind, but something kept nagging at her nerves to say that it wasn't that. It was more. None of them could be there though. She couldn't risk breaking her already shattered heart to think that they would come back for her and take her home. They didn't want her, that was all there was to it.

***

Night after night, day after day, for a week, he watched her. He went to his nearby hotel only a few times to change his clothes, but otherwise he followed her to and from her classes, to and from her work. He stayed in the darkness of the shadows, moving quickly and carefully.

He saw at her work, that she smiled as she greeted the guests, but he learned with great humor that she wasn't allowed to bring anyone their drinks. Apparently she had too many accidents caused by her own inept to walk across a flat floor.

No one around her seemed to notice that her eyes were dead, her face expressionless. Even when she fell outside of her English Studies building, landing with a hard thud on her backside, there was no expression to suggest that she felt any fear or surprise that she had fallen.

It was depressing to witness. Jasper had never felt as helpless to alter ones emotion as he did then. He couldn't approach her, not until he found something that made her happy. Whatever that entailed... There had to be something, someone that she was hanging on for, and he wasn't counting her parents. They didn't count since one day they would die, and then what would she be living for?

She had no friends, anyone that took an interest in her she turned down, she walked away. There was nothing registering in her mind that she was seeing them at all. He wondered, if he went to her, would she recognize him? The thought that she wouldn't hurt too much to consider for long, and the thought that she would, whether she'd be angry or sad, was too tempting to keep.

He camped outside of her apartment, under her first story window, in the darkness. He could hear her in her sleep, the small nonsense she would utter, the wrestling of the sheets as she fought to get comfortable. He felt like a pervert just sitting outside of her window, he had no idea how his brother went inside. Didn't the girl deserve some privacy? He would have gladly left himself if he wasn't determined to see if she was at least happy in her dreams. He waited for those dreams, but they never came...

"No," she suddenly cried out, and his body tensed, his nerves tight enough to be broken. "Don't leave," she whimpered. "Please, stay with me."

He couldn't do it. He couldn't sit there anymore while she had the same nightmare he could only assume she had for two years. Since his stupid brother abandoned her, no less in the woods. He never hated Edward more than he had at that moment, hearing her tearless cries.

He rushed to her window, creaked it open knowing she was too heavy of a sleeper to be roused by such indiscernible noise. He knew of that from the fight him and Emmett had outside of Edward's room one of the many nights she stayed with them. Edward rebuked them for it, but his sleeping beauty didn't stir that night, and she didn't stir then.

Jasper held his breath against the onslaught of her scent, and climbed through past the blinds. He directed his eyes away from her in an automatic response to give her the respect she deserved. In doing such he noted that her room was too tidy for a college student. There was not an article of clothing lying by, her books on her desk in alphabetical order. It was as if she was suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.

She cried out once more, "Stay. Don't go."

He had to look, and when he did he was immediately grateful to see that the blankets were wound tightly around her, covering her completely. Relaxed, he leaned over her. The heat radiated off of her, burning him. Gently as he could he touched her cheek, the burn inside and out intensifying through his fingertips. He felt happy before he could conjure the emotion for her. It flooded out, a great wave of joy. She smiled and he wrenched his hand back before he made her so happy she was giddy. That would surely wake her.

He turned to leave, satisfied that she would at least get one nights of decent sleep. Then she said something that froze him, his hands on the sill of the window.

"Don't go, Jasper."

He stared at her, but she didn't wake, her breathing was even, if not a little hitched. His hands twitched and the sill cracked. Before she could sleepily ask for anything that he couldn't do, he left, jumping out with a grace even a cat did not possess.

"Sweet dreams, Bella."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Worth It

"Seth has stolen his dad's recipe for some good old catfish. Can you come down today? Jacob will pick you up if your truck is not up to the task."

"I don't know, dad..." Bella thought of her old friend Jacob, his wide glittering smile against his russet skin. She felt a longing for him, to have him light up her life like he had before she moved. When Edward left she clung to him up until the moment she was driving out of Forks with her bags in the back of her vehicle, him in the review mirror waving goodbye becoming smaller and smaller with distance.

He was her sun, the only reason she smiled and talked. He gave her life again, a reason to keep going. She owed so much to him, even after she learned of his wolfy facets, she didn't love him any less.

However, going to college gave her another sense of freedom. There were no places that held memories of Edward. She was prepared to be saddened by that, afraid to forget him though she couldn't let herself dwell on him. If she did she would never face the day. She had to live, for Charlie and Jacob, but she couldn't have remained there forever.

To her pleasant surprise the escape was a relief, the escape from what she was sure would have killed her. Therefore, she stayed in her apartment, and only talked to her Jacob in short increments of her baseless life. She was a terrible friend and it was time that she saw him. She did miss him, her precious sun...

"It's been months."

"It's been one," she corrected. "I was there for the last cook-out."

"Bella, please?"

She rarely heard Charlie beg like that, and so she easily relented. "Okay, fine. I'll be there."

"Great! Jacob is waiting for you outside."

That startled her. Did she have any choice to begin with? "What?! Right now?"

"Yes, right now. Hurry up, I think he's been out there for a while. Poor boy got up at four this morning."

"Love you, dad." She hung up quickly and peeked through the blinds of her window.

Parked on the side of the road was Jacob's red rusted Rabbit. She grabbed her jacket for defense against the cool fall air and rushed outside, roughly dodging the nameless old lady trimming the bushes.

She neared the car, already feeling the sunshine leaking out and washing over her. She expected Jacob to hop out of the car and greet her, as he characteristically would have, but he didn't. Her spirits slumped slightly. Was he angry? She _should _have called more, it wasn't fair to him.

When she peered in the window she saw him, his head back against the headrest, his mouth hanging open. He was fast asleep, and she found herself laughing softly. It was so simple in his presence.

Opening the door with a great creak, she slid inside. She shook his burning arm, and he jerked awake.

"Morning, Jake," she greeted.

He blinked several times, focusing on her. Then suddenly he grinned. He wasted no time in capturing her in a hug. She swore, she felt a few bones crack under his airtight embrace.

"Bells!" He released her, still beaming. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure, unless you want to take a nap inside," she teased.

"No, no, not necessary. I'm fine."

"Sam isn't still having you run shifts is he?"

He started up the engine, and began pulling out and away as he spoke. "Yeah, but it's not a big deal. There haven't been any attacks lately, but he's afraid with them gone there'll be others coming around. I've seen inside of his head, the guy is completely paranoid."

She knew what he meant by "them." He knew without being told that the Cullen's names were forbidden. Though she was past that level of hurt, she was thankful. He was still respecting.

They drove on for a good hour, Jacob catching her up on the others. Sam and Emily picked a wedding date for next year, Quil imprinted upon Emily's two-year-old cousin. It would have been shocking if he hadn't described the imprinting process before she moved. He told her about Seth, the new one in the pack.

"Drives me insane, I'm telling you, that pup has no restraints!"

She laughed hollowly and continued listening about the other members that were more like family. Like the Cullen's were... She redirected her mind away, a good exercise she picked up over the last couple of years.

She observed the city of buildings turning into trees of woods, the hills becoming wilder, reveling the deep tenor of her friend's voice. It was the only music she would listen to, but that sweet, lively tenor changed to dead seriousness.

"How are you doing? Really?"

Her answer was a short nod of her head. The trees wound thicker against the thin strip of road, threatening to overcome it. Somewhere ahead was the meadow her... She stopped, wishing Jacob would drop it, but she knew better.

"You don't call anymore."

"I've been busy."

His hands tightened on the wheel. "We're here, Bells. You act like you've lost everyone and you haven't. You still have us. You have Charlie and me."

"Drop it."

"Bella -"

"Drop it!"

He gnashed his teeth together, she heard the snap. "We're worried for you. You're not living."

"I have my pulse, don't I? I'm _alive!_"

He flinched, knowing full well that she wished she wasn't, but he said no more. The closeness of what she could have been (his enemy) was too fresh and real for him. They drove the rest of the way to Forks in silence.

***

From behind the corner of a neighboring building of the same apartment complex, Jasper watched Bella and her friend drive away. He heard her on the phone, being roped into going back home for a short while. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he could hardly control his hearing while at the same time maintaining a close distance.

What was most important, however, was the smile Jasper saw as Bella got inside of the car. It was exactly the kind of smile he'd been waiting for, that he alone traveled to see. It lit her face, but it wasn't good enough. It was short lived, and the pain was there in her eyes.

He leaned against the building, the little things he did to keep whatever was human of him alive. The old brick was coarse and would have made scratches into anyone that didn't have granite skin. To him, it might as well have been a soft caress. He held onto it, causing indentions with his fingers. He hardly paid it any notice.

He promised Alice that he would make sure Bella was okay, and she wasn't. He received his smile, but he would stay until she was happy. He would never forgive himself if he left her there while she suffered.

The red taillights disappeared from his view. He left to hunt then. He would goad himself on the local deer he came across a good thirty minutes up north. When she returned, he would start planning on a way to make Bella happy. He would, if it was the last thing he would ever do. As he told her before. She was worth it.

***

"Bella! Hey, everyone, it's Bella!"

"Hey, it's been a long time, hasn't it? It's almost summer, about time for your break, eh? Coming back then?"

"Didn't I see you on the latest 'Girls Gone Wild' video?"

"You're blushing! College hasn't turned you wild, yet?"

The pack surrounded her with open arms as her and Jacob stepped out of the car. Jacob's mood had evaporated immediately as Quil challenged him to a fight, and they went off running into woods behind Jacob's small rustic house.

Charlie and Jacob's father Billy sat on the porch not having moved to join the welcoming committee. They bowed their heads together, sharing a private joke. Bella said more than once that they were like two old women sharing gossip at the hair-dressers.

Charlie stood as she came up and unexpectedly he hugged her. It was another rarity as he wasn't one to show emotion. Had they been that worried about her? She hadn't been gone that long...

"Welcome home," Billy said brightly flipping the brakes off his wheelchair.

That was right. She was home, back on the reservation, her refuge. It wasn't the same. That mystery presence she felt on the campus was missing, and the chasm in her heart that had been filled by it was gaping open, only to be temporarily held together by Jacob's light. If it wasn't for him, would she fall into that darkness again? The darkness where nothing was visible?

"Thanks, Billy."

Gangly Seth, ten inches taller since she last saw him appeared at her side. She craned up her neck to look at his face.

"Grown, hasn't he?" Charlie chuckled at her startled expression. "Must be the water here or something. All of you kids are growing like weeds!"

Seth barked out a laugh too and handed Bella a bottle of cola. "Jake won," he whispered to her, jerking his head to their right.

Jacob was brushing the dirt off his shoulders, grinning like a madman. Quil was skulking a few feet back, a rip in the shoulder of his shirt suggesting that he hadn't stripped fast enough when he morphed.

It was all the same. The robust happiness, family and food. All gathered sharing stories and jokes. Jacob stayed close by her side, stealing half the food off her plate, his feet stretched out in front of him. Seth kept bringing her more food with a friendly smile that was so much like Jacob's...

It was no matter... Home wasn't the same anymore. She missed the campus and the solitude. What she missed most was that notion of someone being near. It gave her the emotion she considered foreign, that slight edge of what everyone around her was immersed in. It was like what Jasper would put off when she was feeling worried. It was exactly like Jasper... But he wasn't there, he wasn't around, and she couldn't entertain that thought anymore. It wasn't him. He wasn't coming back, especially not for her. She was nothing to him.

That feeling... It was joy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Whirlwind

It was three in the morning when Jacob took Bella home. Home to her apartment that was. There was a fine difference, and though she would always think of Forks as home, she had another home, more commonly recognized as a sanctuary from memories and people.

Hours earlier after Charlie had long gone home Sam had started a bonfire that she dozed off in front of as Billy regaled them with tales of their tribe. She leaned into Jacob's body, his arm around her waist. At some point that night he had carried her to his car to drive her home. He knew she had an early class and could not stay there.

She was jostled awake again when Jacob lifted her out of the car. The door slammed shut by a kick of his foot. She slid in and out of consciousness on the way to her apartment, the slight wind sweeping over her comfortingly. Then it stopped, and so did he.

"Jake...? What's wrong...?"

"Leech!" He spat out the derogatory name and she was instantly awakened, as though caffeine was pumping in her veins, as though she had never been to sleep at all. A vampire?!

"Let me down!"

He squeezed her to his chest. "No, you're coming back home."

"No! This is my home! Let me down now!" She squirmed and hit his chest with her fists. It didn't do anything, it was like hitting a rock that had been warmed by the sun. She was anxious, her chest tightening. Someone was in there, one of the Cullen's. She knew it down in her gut. It was a stupid thing to lay her hopes on, but if she was right...

"Jacob Lee Black, let me down now!"

Stunned by her chaotic reaction and the use of his whole name he let her down and she immediately lunged at the door, her foot slipping once as she wrestled the keys out of her pocket attacking the lock with them.

Jacob was one step ahead of her, as soon as the door was unlocked he went charging into the room pushing her behind his back. He searched wildly around, glaring into every crevice, even under the bed. He sniffed the air.

She could hardly see, her eyesight not supernatural like his. She could just make out the vestiges of the furniture, but she saw no human shape. She wanted to call out his name, hoping he was hiding, but where she did not know. She felt like she was falling into an abyss of hopelessness.

No one was there. Despite her sun the chasm ripped itself open and she was left gasping for air as though the world had punched her in the gut. It was a cruel joke. She collapsed on her bed, her arms wrapping around her stomach, and effort to keep herself together. She wouldn't fall apart, not after all the time she worked to keep herself together.

"Way to go. Which vampire did you piss off this time?"

That took her off-guard. She was only thinking of the good vampires - the vegetarian ones that could have been there. She didn't think of the bad ones, the ones that murdered people for a meal. "I - I don't know..." Who could be after her? James was gone, Jasper and Emmett killed him in the ballet studio.

He sighed heavily. "I'm staying here. I'll keep watch outside. Stay in here, _don't go anywhere_. You hear me?"

She shook her head but she did hear him. "Stay here," she asked, and in the next moment she felt hot hands on her arms pushing her down. Her single green blanket wrapped around her, and she saw Jacob's shadow descend to the floor. He reached up and took her small hand in his large one, the translucent white of her skin disappearing.

"Sleep, Bella. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

The rain started pattering on her window and she fell into a sleep where Jasper haunted her the hole of his absence filled. It was the sweetest sleep yet.

***

The rain came down softly, a patter on his head and shoulders. He was in what would soon be a whirlwind of a storm, but it would be nothing to match to what was going on inside of him as he peered through Bella's window.

There was only one way that Jacob could have smelled him, use the word "leech" the way he did, a poison on his tongue. He was a werewolf. Bella - a fragile little human as she was - was friends with a werewolf. At that realization it took every fiber of his being, and 162 years of patience not to go running in there to take her away - if not kill him. Killing him would do no good, not for her which was the sole reason not to. It would make her sad.

The dog had laid her down in bed, and to Jasper's extreme chagrin had laid down next to her on the floor. Once more, it took every bit of him not to go inside. For what it was though, he would stand outside and keep watch. One argument, one second of anger, and it would be over for her. It was for her safety that he was there, as ironic as that was.

He didn't think the same as Edward. He dissented with him on a lot of things. One of them being that Bella could never be safe with them, not entirely. Not until she was changed to one of them, and while Jasper looked forward the prospect of not thirsting for her, Edward loved her humanity. She should have been changed, she even wanted it, but he foolishly denied her.

The rain fell harder, soaking him, thunder clapping eight miles west. He dripped, shining droplets falling in front of his eyes. In those tiny droplets he saw an upside-down reflection of his honey eye, but he did not budge. He would stay there until daybreak and when the light shone he would hide in the shadows of nearby trees, but he wouldn't stop listening. It would only take one second that he could get in there and take her friend down.

Jasper was right not to leave that day, to go back home. Alice would've returned him to Bella so in the end it would have been a waste of the endless time he had, but if something happened... If her werewolf lost control and she had been within proximity...

Why did he feel as bad about that as he did? Because it would hurt Alice? Edward? It would've hurt all of his family, certainly, but him? He was never close to Bella, so why? Why did Jasper feel like his world would end if her life did.

Lightening struck, casting him for a second in sparkle.

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the confusion of this chapter. It came out as a copy of the first, a glitch that I had to fix. Thank you for the patience.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Comatose

Bella leaned over the bed. Sometime in the night (or rather early morning) her hand slid from Jacob's, the sweat slicking her skin. She saw then that he laid on his stomach, his arms flailed out, a quiet snore sounding from his parted and chapped lips. Tenderly she stroked his coal hair from his face. He looked so peaceful she didn't have the heart to wake him, so as softly as she could she stood and took a armful of clothes into the bathroom.

It was only a couple of hours of sleep, but she felt like she had her full eight hours. She was wide awake, very alert. She took her shower, dressed, and tip-toed out of her apartment into the wet atmosphere. The sun hid behind the gloomy clouds allowing nothing to dry. It was her last classes until summer. She supposed being cognizant was expected, then again she never reacted the normal way. She was told that many times throughout her life, and she suspected being the parent in her relationship with her mother, Renee caused that.

Reluctantly, she recalled Edward saying similar things. It was hazy, like a past life she was granted for a short few months. She shook her head quickly, dispersing of the unwelcome memories. She didn't want to forget, but she was terrified of remembering. The hole in her chest was still there, gaping wide, as though everyone could see it and see into her pain. She was grateful that most people those days saw through her without seeing anything else. They must have talked about her, but she could have never been sure, she never listened, and she had little knowledge of how college gossip traveled, least did she care.

Ever since last night she felt those invisible eyes on her. She searched around her in hopeful anticipation, but as usual, she saw no one. Perhaps she wasn't getting better but cracking up. The voices were gone and now she was thinking someone was near and watching her, and not anyone but a vampire.

She didn't know who could have been in her apartment, but it couldn't have been any of the Cullen's. That was an absurd hope. The only choice left was that she was in danger. She couldn't think of a reason why, or even why they hadn't attacked her early if they wanted her dead. It was not as if she was guarded anymore. She was out in the open, a meal for any stray vampires that came along. She was vulnerable, and it was not something she minded. Perhaps her old acquaintance, Jessica, had it right from the beginning. Perhaps she did have a death wish.

***

Once Bella was gone Jasper sunk lower into the shadows of an alleyway he'd taken a fondness to in his watch of her. There, as her truck drove to the join the rest of traffic he flipped his cell phone open and pressed "1." It was speed dial for -

"Hi, Jazz," Alice answered. "What's up?"

"She's with a _dog_." He didn't elaborate, he never had to with Alice.

"She got a dog?"

He amended himself, stunned that she didn't understand right away. He had pondered why she hadn't at least warned him to begin with. She knew the dangers of what could happen. "She's with a werewolf."

"A WHAT?! Who?"

"You didn't know?" It was odd to hear her shocked. It never happened. It had to be a first.

"No... Jazz, be careful! No, wait there, I'll get a flight out in a few minutes."

"Stay there, okay? He's mine. He already knows a vampire has been in her room." There was no need to explain, Alice had to have seen that he was in there and what he did. "He knows my scent. If he smells you too there'll be more like him."

"Don't bite him. If he's Bella's friend, getting him killed -"

"I know."

"What... What are you going to do?"

He fell into silence. Alice never had to ask as many questions as she had. She always knew, and he could practically feel the vibrations through the phone that she didn't like it either. It had to have been like going blind.

He made up his mind then, and hoped that she could see it. His plan was clear inside of his head. Whatever happened afterward would be left to his reactions. He'd kill if he had to. "Can't you see that?"

"No. You disappeared... Jazz, your future is gone!"

He responded automatically, not feeling the implications of her words, only his worry of why she couldn't see. "Calm down. There has to be a reason for this." He stared at the feet poking out from where the bed blocked the dog. He swallowed his growl. "Were you able to see Bella yesterday?"

"No."

"Charlie?"

"No, but I wasn't looking. What are you thinking?"

"That you can't see wolves."

A sigh blew into the receiver. "This complicates things..."

"It'll be okay."

"Call me!"

"I will." He snapped the phone close, glaring at the protruding feet with utmost loathing.

***

The truck clunked its way along with echoing noise. She ignored the stares that it brought her; she was used to it, though there were ten times more stares near her college than in diminutive Forks. She loved the old thing anyway for sentimental value, as a gift from her father and the work Jacob put into it. It was a bonus that it wasn't flashy but simple.

Halfway to the campus, Bella idly looked to the passenger seat and realized that she forgot her books. Not only her books, but her backpack and everything that was in it, including binders and folders. She had left it all behind in her apartment, and she groaned as she pulled into a small market to turn around. It was going to be a long day, she could feel it.

***

He was thankful the sky was shrouded in stormy gray clouds as he could walk out of the alleyway he had concealed himself in. He went inside not bothering using the window or even knocking. He broke the lock with a flick of his wrist and let himself in. He would fix it for her later.

Jasper waited inside of the door, his nose wrinkling from the awful smell. He breathed through his mouth, but it did little to help. He could _taste_ him on his sensitive pallet. It would take a tremendous amount of blood to wash it away.

He knew it was only mere seconds until the dog's head would appear, and sure enough, it did. Jacob stood, taller than him, his frame shaking with rage and a lust for the kill he was going to commit.

"Jacob," he spat, causing the dog to hesitate by the shock of his name being used. "My name is Jasper Hale. I'm Edward's brother. It was my scent you caught here. I'm not out to hurt Bella. Please, calm yourself."

"What are you doing here? You don't belong here!"

By the tiniest margin he made himself feel tranquil to pass it on to him. It was the only way to have a conversation with the mutt. "We wanted to make sure she was okay. That she was happy."

"She's fine! She's happy! Get out, and I swear if I smell you anywhere near her I'll rip you limb from limb." His shaking hadn't ceased, the spot between his brows furrowed in deep concentration to hold his human form.

"She isn't _fine_. Do you know what I can do, Jacob Black? I can sense emotions. I can alter them. You're not killing me now because I'm holding you back, just a little to allow my explanation."

"Oh yeah?"

"She was having nightmares. I wanted to soothe her with my ability. I didn't touch her and I left as soon as she was sleeping well."

His rage slowed, his trembling ceased. "Bella was having nightmares?"

"Yes." He hoped a little that it was a good time to ask him to leave. He didn't know Jacob well, but there was something telling him that he wouldn't leave that easily. "They were horrible."

As soon as the rage was gone, it was back. His hands were balling into fists at his sides. "What's it to your family? They left her!"

"Edward was trying to protect her. He doesn't know about this. It's more on Alice's behalf."

"The psychic?"

"Yes. They're best friends."

"They _were_. I'm her best friend now."

There was a possessive edge to his tone that Jasper hated. He felt an inexplicable urge to protect Bella from him. Though Jacob hadn't hurt her yet, that didn't mean that he wouldn't. If she was there with them and Jasper hadn't been able to steer him off, there was no doubt that he would morph and kill her in the process. Accidents happened. With the possessiveness was love and adoration directed in her name and that scared him more than anything. He couldn't find a reason why.

"Get out," he snarled. "Don't come back. I can take care of her."

***

She drove across the street, driving into her apartment complex. Pounding music from behind her made her windows tremble, traveling through her bones and jump-starting her heart. She didn't have time to see the black sports car that pulled out as she crossed. She did feel the jerk, her head banging against the same trembling glass, and the bottom of the wheel digging into her thighs.

_This isn't happening. This can't be happening._ She repeated that over in her head as her car spun, the wheels screeching, but it all blurred and she squeezed her eyes shut. She saw Edward's perfect face swim in front of her. He was giving her that crooked smile that she loved so very much, the cold touch of his hand on hers, and his icy lips melting against her own. He whispered those words he said many times in a melodic song.

_"I love you, Bella."_

_God, Edward, I love you too._

Knives sliced through her head, and as she opened her eyes, she saw a dot of red dropping from her brow as she slid into a comatose she hoped never to wake from.

_Goodbye. Forever. You have your wish._

***

Jasper had his hand on knob of the door when he heard the crash. It was too loud to have been any car less than forty years old. Somehow he knew, deep in his gut and heart, the wrenching it caused as if they were connected. He knew that it was Bella.

The door busted against the wall, cracking down the middle as he attempted to run at a human pace, but Jacob didn't even try. He bounded past him, slamming him into the wall on their way out, leaving a good sized indenture the size of his shoulder and knee. Jasper hurried after him with no concern for the damage left in their trail. He was more than ever grateful for the dark skies, for he could follow after the stench the dog made as he ran towards Bella's truck.

That rusted piece of junk, strong for a human was only a twisted hunk of metal. Metal and blood. Her enticing blood...

"Keep back," Jacob unnecessarily yelled after him, but Jasper didn't listen. He passed him and broke the door open, Bella slumping over in his arms. He had to be gentle, more gentle than he had ever been in his vampire existence. There was no telling what damage had been done, and the blood was coming from her head, trickling down her chin.

"Bella," he breathed, it shaking uncontrollably. "Wake, please." Like Jacob's scent, hers was on his tongue, and he tried not to breath, not to taste. Her sweet, fresh Jasmine aroma. "Open your eyes. Damn it, Bella!"

Jacob had long been standing beside him, anxious and ready to tear him apart if needed, but Jasper could hardly feel anything else coming from him. His own emotions overwhelmed him, and buried him. Fear, pain, seeping control, and immeasurable worry.

"Bella... Please... Not now..." _Not now that I'm with you..._

She didn't wake. She didn't stir. Worst of all, he felt no pain come from her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Family

"Tell Alice, okay? She saw the car crash, but when the dog came into the scene I doubt she could see that Bella woke." Jasper glared at Jacob through the window to the waiting room, fast asleep and snoring, the gaggle of patients watching him in amusement. Two little twin girls stood on their tiptoes beside him, as if trying to peer into his mouth to discern the cause of the racket.

In his minds eye, he could see Carlisle nodding. "I'll tell her, son. I may contact the doctor for more information. Exchange notes. Bella has had multiple contusions. When I first saw her x-ray in Forks I thought her mother had been as clumsy as she," he chuckled lightly. "Have you told Jacob?"

"He just fell asleep... Edward doesn't know?"

"He checked in last night from Germany. No one's told him."

"Can we keep it that way? There's no sense in repeating history." No sense in Edward coming back to be definite that she was okay only to leave her again.

"No, I agree. It's best for both of them. Keep us posted. And oh, Jasper, we're all very proud of you - for not losing control."

That meant a lot, considering his family watched him like hawks did on potential dangers. Always above and always in control. "Thanks," he said and shut his phone strolling back in through the automatic doors.

He hated hospitals. There was too much blood; the sick-smelling array of medicines far from his mind to be bothered by. It was becoming uncomfortable, holding his breath the way he was. Each time he drew the polluted air in it was daggers in his throat, burning him, lighting him on fire. Nonetheless he refused to leave the mutt alone with Bella, even in a hospital full of people.

What happened to her... It should have made him glad. He should've been content knowing that she was safer – that their secret was safer, but there was no secret that wasn't secure with Bella. She proved herself, and he meant what he said, she was worth it, she was their family. He couldn't control the anger he felt at her condition. It wasn't fair... Of all people...

At his approach the small girls scattered, leaping into their mother's arms. He was only slightly sorry for their scare, to feel the spike of his irritation, anger, and sadness.

He plopped down beside Jacob and kicked his foot, none too gently but gentle enough not to cause a break. The dog jumped in his seat, his hazed gaze landing on him. He growled and sat straighter.

"Bella," he asked gruffly.

Anyone else would have been kind at telling him. Most especially an empath. However, Jasper had no patience to think of a way to soften the blow. "She has amnesia."

"What," he gasped.

"Her last memory is of living with Charlie, right when she moved to Forks."

"So..."

"She doesn't remember anything about... Us."

His hands trembled. "Will... Will she remember?"

He nodded. "With time." He glanced over. "Be careful there, Jacob," he whispered too low for human ears to detect. "Don't want to lose control with all these people."

"I'm fine! Worry about yourself."

"I think who we need to be worried about now is Bella. Did you call Charlie?"

He shook his head. "Harry didn't eat any better than Charlie does, and Harry had a heart attack. I'm not telling him. Bella wouldn't want me to."

"You know they'll tell him. They may have already called if you listed him on the papers."

"I... I didn't know who else to list. I can't pass for a relative, obviously." He said the next sentence several octaves lower. "And I have no money."

Jasper rose his brow quizzically. "You put my name?"

"No, I put that doctor in your family."

"I hope that's not how you listed him."

"Of course not. Charlie told me all of your names."

"You know this gives me rights over her."

He glowered, his breath hitching. "Don't you get any ideas, _bloodsucker._ Your _father's _name may be on there, but she's coming home with _me_."

"It's not an idea, it's a fact. Carlisle is a doctor, he'll be best for her. You can't dispute that."

"Over my dead body!"

The stupidity of his argument nearly lost the chair its use, his hands clutching the armrests. "That can be arranged..."

"It can't be over yours, you -"

"Mr. Black? Mr. Hale?"

The two looked towards the swinging doors. Their tempers were flared, and they must have looked horrifying, for the young lady in white took a step back. She had no contemplation, not enough imagination to even guess how terrifying they could have been. They stood, and she stumbled even further backwards. Jasper could see their light reflection in the window, Jacob towering over him, both of their features masked in worry and anger.

"Um," she stuttered, "I can take you to see Ms. Cullen now."

Jasper focused himself forcing placid thoughts of streams and rolling clouds. Jacob shot him daggers at the obvious change of atmosphere, but it was most of all to calm the lady. "Thank you, Ms. Tori," he read her badge and she smiled in relief.

Daggers... Fire... He clenched his teeth and tried to keep his mind in place. He thought of Bella without the scent. Her smile, the most innocent thing he could conjure. It led his way to the end of the long hall, to the room where she laid, pale, and weak.

***

Bella spent most of her time in the hospital. She had the white-washed walls memorized, the smell, everything. She knew before she opened her eyes were she was at. The only thing she didn't know was why. She was at Charlie's having just moved from Phoenix where she had lived with her mother. She had gone to sleep to the consistent rain in her new room, that was the last she remembered. What happened to her?

"Ms. Swan?" The woman with high arched brows came through. As she promised she brought two men with her.

She recognized Jacob, the son of Charlie's best friend Billy Black. He had gotten older, taller, bigger, and barely looked sixteen. He looked to be in his twenties and it seemed impossible that he could have grown so large. Were all sixteen-year-old boys that tall? She jokingly thought that perhaps it was the water on the reservation, but nonetheless she saw the sparkle in his eyes, the way they crinkled. She would know him anywhere.

The second boy had to be about the same age, tall if not as tall as Jacob. It looked as though sunlight had never touched his skin, his hair fair and curly, his eyes a soft honey gold. He held himself high, strict, and serious. He took her breath away and she didn't regain it back. Blood flooded her cheeks in the strongest blush she had ever felt.

"Do you recognize either of these young men," the woman asked, ogling too much over the blond.

"Jacob Black," she smiled wistfully. "I don't know the other."

The blond nodded bitterly as if he expected such and Jacob's mouth stretched into a glittering grin. It not only lit up the darkest places inside of her but the plain room she was in. That was odd.

"Where's my dad," she asked. "He must be worried." The idea of him calling her mom sent a pain of panic through her. Her mother was probably already on a plane to see her. That was wholly unnecessary. The hospital was practically a second home.

Suddenly it grew uncomfortable, and her heart nearly leapt out of her chest. "My dad's okay, isn't he?"

No one answered her. The blond took the nurses' hand who gasped at the contact, but he didn't bat an eye. "May we have some time alone," he asked smoothly. Smooth wasn't the right word. It was smoother than a clear brook, his voice deep and velvet. "We'd like to discuss this with her personally, if you do not mind."

The nurse reddened, stammered over her words, and left in a bumbling haze shutting the door behind her. Bella couldn't very well blame the girl, the man was beautiful. She sat up, bringing her thin sheet around her tighter.

"What's going on, Jacob? Where's Charlie?" Her chest constricted, not allowing much room for her heart to beat, but it was, furiously against the cage. Her dad was chief of police in Forks. Could've something happened in that small town?

He sat on the edge of her bed, his grin fading like the sun during twilight as it gave over to the moon. She noticed the blond stepping forward, closer to her as if drawn by a string, and her heart grew and thumped louder. "What do you remember?"

"I was at Charlie's. It was my first day... I had school."

"Do you remember me?"

"I haven't seen you since we were kids, Jake."

"Bella," the blond said. "You don't recall me at all?"

"No..." There was something tugging at her brain, she knew she should have. His face was familiar. It was giving her a headache.

"Don't push yourself," he ordered and Jacob let out a growl that rumbled in her own chest. She looked shockingly at him. What human growled like that?

"Let me deal with this le-"

"Fine," the blond agreed cuttingly.

Jacob looked more genial upon her. "You're nineteen now, Bells, a Freshman in college. We're best friends, have been for years now. Your dad is home in Forks, he's fine..." His face hardened at what he declared next. "You have amnesia."

She froze in fright, and the fright that she usually fidgeted. If it was true, about the amnesia, then where did she pick it up from?

There wasn't much more feeling, there wasn't worry, not even when the fear resided. It had to be what shock felt like but she didn't feel the classic symptom, she wasn't cold, not yet.

Despite the glowering stare her supposed best friend gave, the blond drew near her side. "My name is Jasper Hale. We were friends in high school. I came to visit you this year."

She was friends with that man? How could she have ever stood in his presence without feeling inadequate? How could a friendship form between them? It didn't seem plausible.

"We _are_ friends, Bella." He smiled, not baring all of his teeth. There was a comfort about him, like a warm blanket on a winters night. It was impossible not to believe him, not to feel uncomfortable.

Jacob oddly shrugged, as if pushing something off of him. He stood. "We didn't think you'd want Charlie to know about this. We'll take you back home to your apartment." He touched her hair. "We'll take care of you."

Jasper nodded backing towards the door. "You may dress. We'll give you your privacy."

***

"We should've gone out to get her some clothes," Jacob groaned in the hallway, banging his head back against the wall he was leaning on.

"Neither of us was going to leave the other alone with her."

"Speaking of that. _I'll_ be going home with her. I'll take care of her."

"I'm not going anywhere Jacob Black. I don't trust you with her."

"And I don't trust her with you."

"Then we only have one choice. We _both_ will take care of her." That concept didn't make him happy at all, and Jacob felt the same way.

He kicked the wall with his heel, the paint chipping and falling. "I don't understand you, leech. What do you care for? You all left. We've kept her safe and she was fine until you came along."

More than anything, Jasper wished he could answer that question. Why did he care so much? "That accident wasn't my fault."

"Blood was spilled! You could have lost control!"

He grimaced at the memory, as real as the actual event. "I didn't. That's what matters. She's safe."

"For how long?"

"You'll be there. We'll keep each other in check. With us around..." He didn't want to admit it, but it had to be said, if he wanted to stay with her. "She'll never be safer."

Jacob kicked the wall again, the plaster crumbling. "Hey, what do you get when you put a human with amnesia in a one-room apartment with a werewolf and a leech," he quizzed sardonically.

Jasper played along. "What?"

"Trouble." He shook his head mumbling to himself. "Can't believe I'm working with a bloodsucker."

"I can't believe I'm working with a dog that can't crack a good joke. You suck."

They laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Truly Amazing

Bella slept in the backseat of Jacob's rabbit. She curled up in the corner, her arms wrapped under her chest, her hair splayed over her peaceful face. Jasper had reached his arm back, his hand on her ankle soothing her to sleep. He kept his hand on her encouraging sweet dreams, at least that was part of the reason. He had to know that she hadn't disappeared like a beautiful phantom. She was safe, he hadn't killed her, and he wasn't trapped within the confines of his mind. She was safe, and as many times as he silently repeated that, it wasn't the same as touching her, for his own assurance.

Jacob kept up a slur of curse words under his breath as he rubbed his hands over the wheel. He didn't oppose but his stabs of fury were plenty to get the picture that he didn't like what he saw. The jealousy that swam deeply under the surface was an increasing annoyance. Jasper had to direct him somehow, before he really did snap, but changing his emotions again wasn't going to do the trick.

"What was Bella like when she was little?," he asked. It was a question that plagued his mind at times, though he had never been courageous enough to ask Edward.

Jacob glimpsed once at him, debating whether or not to answer. He did. "About the same. Older than her age, clumsy..."

He chuckled. "That sounds like her." He rubbed his thumb over the top of her foot, hoping that he didn't cause her to become too cold. They should have asked for a blanket, something to keep her warmer. The blasted heat from the vents was making Jacob sweat.

It was hard to imagine that Bella couldn't possibly know who they were. After all the grief she'd been through, after all the trouble they caused her, it was amazing that it wasn't permanently sketched into her brain. Right then, as ironic as it sounded, she had never been safer. She was with them, she was sound asleep, she was with two strong creatures, albeit that normally was a deficiency of her safety, but they were in complete control. Jasper had never been in more control.

The heat of the car made her scent stronger, and although Jacob's scent diminished hers it was there. If he hadn't known what it felt like to almost lose her, he knew then. It wasn't the same as taking her life as he almost tried on her last birthday. Even as he lunged at her he understood that she was safe with Emmett, Edward, Alice, and Carlisle, with all of them. They wouldn't let him hurt her. However, the car accident, no one was around to save her, except him, and he failed to stop it. It wasn't his job and he realized such. He comprehended then why Edward was as protective of her as he was. She was truly delicate. Anything could happen, right then, she could never wake up.

"We'll have to tell her about us," Jasper stated aloud, a thought that roamed the back of his mind until it came to the forefront and out of his mouth. It was an odd thing to say, all things considering.

He was opposed to telling Bella what they were the first time. When he learned of her knowledge he concluded detailed plans of how he would bloodlessly kill her. He didn't even have to be the one, Rose wanted her dead too. She could have cut the brake lines of her truck. She would've faced the possible death she had faced that day, in her truck, on her way to school.

It would have worked if Edward and Alice had allowed them. They didn't, and because of them Bella was alive. It was them she had to thank for living long enough to forget them.

No thought had ever made him sadder, the moment Bella looked at him and there was not a flicker of recognition. There was just surprise and disbelief at his words that they were friends. She was right to disbelieve it. They were never friends, they couldn't be, Edward asked him not to go near her longer than he had to.

Jasper honestly didn't want to tell her. It wasn't safe, not with the Volturi. If they found out all was lost. Bella would die and so would every one of the Cullen's. The chances of that happening though were slim, and she was smart, she would figure it out if they didn't tell her, just like she had last time.

Jacob sighed heavily, the burden sinking into him. "Yes, or come up with a damn good reason why you don't eat and I have a constant temperature."

She mewed lightly in her sleep, and Jasper composed himself again.

"She'll react the same, won't she," Jacob inquired worriedly.

"She's still the same... The situation is different... She was in love with Edward, nothing about him would've bothered her. And she was used to the idea of mythical creatures when you told her about yourself -"

"She guessed -"

"I don't know what this time will be like..." He read the speedometer. The car was only going sixty miles per hour. Normally it would have felt like a crawl to him, but it lengthened his time with the sleeping beauty. Beauty... Jasper had always thought of her that way, but... She was his brother's and any further thoughts were forbidden. He stopped himself for so long it was habit.

Jacob slowed to a stop outside of the apartment. Mentally Jasper felt around him and when no emotions came except the frustration and worry from Jacob, and the fog of happiness from Bella's dreams, he rushed out and gathered her in his arms. She was as light as a feather, a very warm feather that pushed itself against him. He carried her slowly to the door.

"I could've done that," Jacob growled to him.

"I didn't want her to wake, I need to touch her so only she can feel the calm."

Agitated, Jacob couldn't argue.

As they passed through the hallway to the apartment, Jasper could see that the hole in the wall had yet to be fixed, but the door had been replaced, the smell of fresh green paint wafting in the small enclosure.

Jacob took out a small pick and inserted it into the keyhole. He jiggled and it swung open. "We'll get the new key later."

He laid her on her bed, covering her to her chin. He swept her hair to the side, admiring every facet of her, the movement of her lids, her plump lips, the arch of her brows, and the blood rushing through every vein, spiderwebs in her pale arms.

He withdrew quickly then, and sat at the far end under the window, not once taken his eyes off of her. He tasted the serene atmosphere that she was in, safe in her hazy world of dreams, the nightmares locked in a unattainable place in her mind.

"You can't have her," the dog said simply, almost... Sympathetically.

"I don't want her."

"She's not your brother's anymore."

His head snapped up, their eyes meeting, brown to gold, but he didn't have to see him to know of his perception. "You read a lot into things, don't you?"

"Like what I told Bella: I pay attention."

***

_A bronze haired boy sat across from a lovely pixie-like girl, a chess board between them. They were both uncommonly beautiful. They sat hunched over, concentrating on their unmoving pieces. They were like a statue set in a everyday setting, not belonging. The girl with spiky black hair, and small features grinned suddenly, knocking over a piece._

_"Good game, brother," she congratulated as the boy sneered playfully._

Bella tried to hold onto the dream. She tried to make sense of it. Who were those two? Why didn't they move any of the miniatures? How could they tell who won? It was strange, but more so that in the dream she found it so ordinary. She lost it when she opened her eyes to the cracked ceiling.

"Awake?"

Jacob sat hunched over on the edge of her bed, a tray of steaming chicken soup on his lap. She propped herself up against her headboard and he laid it over her legs, the smell banishing any of the tangled worries she had. She caught Jasper's eye from where he sat under the window, disconnected from the scene.

"Thank you."

"He made it," Jasper clarified.

She shrugged picking up the spoon. "Will you tell me more about my life in Forks?"

"Are you sure you don't remember anything, Bells," Jacob asked pleadingly.

"I'm _sure._"

Jasper left his station and came to sit on her other side. He looked deep into her eyes and she stared right back. The golden light that was his gaze read every facet of her, but she didn't look away, she found herself leaning forward reading him back. His kindness, his waver, his intelligence, and the beauty an angel would be envious of.

He jerked back quicker than she had see anyone move. Then he chuckled, and she wondered if she missed a joke somewhere. "She'll be fine," he laughed. "She'll handle it well."

Jacob appeared confused but he shook his head. "Later. We'll tell you later, Bells. Go on, eat."

"Tell her something, Jacob."

"Fine..."

Bella began eating, waiting for a few stories of her life. Anything so she could begin living like she had before.

"You took care of your dad very well. He was very happy with you there, you cooked for him every night. You were happy too."

There was a flash of resentment that blinded Jasper's face. She opened her mouth to ask if he was alright but Jacob continued on speaking and she turned to him instead.

"We had motorcycles. You came to my house with these two junkers in the back of the truck and asked me to fix them up."

"I fixed up a bike," she asked incredulously.

"Okay, _I _fixed it up and you kept me company. You had the checkbook and I had the knowledge."

She nodded. That sounded like her. The bikes, however, did not. "My dad made me promise not to ever get on a bike."

"You see, there was -"

"Enough," Jasper cracked loudly. "That's enough."

She eyed them curiously, her cheeks flaming in a blush she didn't understand. They both kept their heads down, and she was only able to tell that they were sad. "What happened to me that was so terrible?"

"You were in an accident -"

"No, Jake. What aren't you two telling me?"

Jasper clawed at his hair, almost pulling it from the roots. "Please, eat. You'll find out everything soon. I promise you."

"You should eat too," Jacob told him harshly. "You look... Pale." He smirked wickedly, like there was an inside joke she was missing out on.

She began eating. As curious as she was to know what was going on, what had happened to her, she would wait. There was the possibility that she would get her memory back one day. Perhaps she didn't want to know what those two years held...

***

Curiosity and contemplation swam over him as he watched her eat. She was slow, eating her disgusting-smelling soup in small doses. Her heated face was almost too much to bear. It stabbed at his throat like a white hot poker. He was nearly growling, his nails digging into his skull. It took every single bit of self-control he gained over the years to stay where he was at. He kept the imagination of her blood away, begged it to be gone so he could think straight. It wasn't easy, not in the small space they were in. It was torturing.

"I think will eat," he hissed out. He didn't wait for their answers, pushed back their confusion and stepped out into the hallway. He was only out there for a moment, then Jacob came out holding a black jacket.

"It's sunny today," he said throwing it at him. "My keys are in the pocket."

"Thanks," he responded to the closing door, knowing that he heard him.

He pulled it on, flipping up the hood. He buried his hands into the pockets and walked outside, careful to keep his head low. He hated the idea of using the slow and rusty Rabbit, but there was no way he could use the bike he bought, not while attempting to keep himself from sparkling like ethereal diamond.

Bella lost her memory but she didn't lose who she was. Jasper didn't expect that, but the way she looked into his eyes unflinching, the way no human could do, he knew she would take it well. It had nothing to do with Edward, she truly was brave, or truly that stupid. In his opinion, she was truly that amazing.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Secrets

Summer had begun, as did her two months off from classes. It gave her the perfect opportunity to play catch-up, though living with two practical strangers would have been enough worry on any girl that was missing a chunk of her life. For Bella, it was easy. She _knew_ Jacob and Jasper. Jacob was still the happy boy from her childhood, and Jasper... He was familiar, a taste on the tip of her tongue she had yet to place, but she trusted them. She wasn't alone, and she wasn't being babied, they were simply keeping her company. She appreciated that. As far as her memory was concerned, it could wait, because there was something inside of her that told her it was best left alone.

The three of them fell into a routine for the next three days. She went to work coming home to find that Jacob cooked and Jasper set the table. Occasionally he came over to help her with the studying she tried to do, as she was afraid of beginning college again. Mentally she had never graduated high school, but he was a great teacher, patient, and he seemed to know everything. She wondered how he wasn't in speed school with the noesis he possessed.

At dinner one of them would hold out her chair, the other sending daggers. It was only on the third day that she convinced them to let her help do the dishes at least, if they would not let her help with anything else. They gave her plenty of room, breathing space, Jasper reading her collection of books, and Jacob carving a block of wood he was quite secretive about.

It was home.

Bella was in amazement at Jacob's stories of the two years she missed. She came to the conclusion that not a whole lot could happen in two years academically as it had to her sudden change of behavior. She decided she could keep up with what she learned in school in her summer, particularly with Jasper's help. It wouldn't matter what she missed. For the moment, she had to learn about herself. She was a different person...

"_I_ cliff dived," she asked one morning before she had even gotten out of bed.

Jacob barked out a laugh. "Jumped right off! You were wild Bells." There was something hidden behind the story, something she couldn't decipher. If anything annoyed her the most it was the missing pieces, not being told of a secret. A secret... Something was there, within her grasp, slipping further and further away... Her dream, she had one, but what it contained... _You don't want to know, you're happy,_ an inner voice told her.

"Bella?"

She jerked out of her daydreams. "Yeah, sorry." She glimpsed to the window where Jasper once was sitting. "Where is he? Your friend?"

"Not my friend." He shrugged, "he went out to eat."

"There's food in the kitchen."

"He has a special diet," he answered wryly.

She hated using the card she knew she was going to use. She hated manipulating him like she planned. She had to know though, she had that right, to know what was wrong with her. It had to be important or him and Jasper wouldn't be hiding it from her so vehemently. So she stuffed the inner voice and batted her lashes in the sickening way she saw other girls do and muttered "we're best friends, aren't we, Jacob?"

He chuckled, once more in the way of her missing a gag that she should've known. "Of course we are. As long as you don't ever give me that sappy look again."

She chortled with him and leaned closer, twisting the blanket in her hands with her nervousness. Her breath trembled with her demand. "Then tell me your secrets. The ones I used to know."

He faltered for half a second, and then, he caved, his shoulders slumping as if a great weight had been taken off. It was too easy, she thought he may have been joking, pulling her leg, but he took her hand in his burning hot one and pulled her out of bed.

"Jake," she gasped snatching her arm away with the onslaught of heat, like the top of a stove. "You're running a fever," she stood on the tips of her toes and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. He was as hot as she thought, she guessed a hundred-and-eight degrees. He didn't look sick, but how much did that mean?

He pushed her hand back. "I'm fine, it's normal. You'll see. Come with me." He seized her wrist and forced her to stumble after him.

She ran outside of her apartment in the night, in her button white t-shirt and gym shorts. They ran back into the trees. It was not as much as Forks, but it provided darkness and shelter for small animals like rodents.

Gripping her arms he positioned her between two of the largest trees. He stepped backwards almost swallowed by the darkness. "Don't be scared," he whispered. "Everything will be alright. We were best friends after you found out."

She didn't understand what he was talking about, and her mouth parted in shock as he began tugging his shirt off over his head. His abs were cut deeply, in perfect shape. She had to clear her mind.

"Jake -"

"Shhh," he hushed. "Wait." He turned his back to her and kicked off his shoes, thudding beyond a darker crevice of the forest. In a blink he had off his jeans and boxers. He stood naked, shivering despite that there wasn't so much as a breeze in the humid air. She closed her eyes, hoping to give him a little privacy for whatever he was doing.

"I never told you, Bells. You guessed it. You loved me anyway, remember that. Open your eyes, Bells. It's not like you haven't seen me before... You just don't remember."

She saw him naked? She would have to ask about that one later. Right then it wasn't the time to hear it.

She opened her eyes and saw his shivering overtaking his body. His muscles rippled as if something - a monster - were going to explode, and indeed, it did. Auburn fur exploded from his skin, and in the next moment, not even half a second, there stood a gigantic wolf, the size of a horse.

Once more she froze. She wished to run but somehow that didn't seem logical. She did this before, it was not new. It was... Mundane. For something so bizarre, she didn't feel scared or any other emotion that should have been coursing through her. It was... Normal. Her kind of normal at the very least. There were the images, the memories that threatened the block her mind had put up, but it was there. There was nothing to fear, because although her friend was furry and possibly obtaining fleas, she loved him. There was no danger, this wolf was still Jacob, she saw the laughter in his eyes that told her so.

He opened his mouth, a tongue lolling out the side in what could've been described as a smile. His tail wagging, thumping against the trunk of the tree sending splinters of wood flying. Inexplicably, Bella laughed breathlessly. "Jacob?"

The dog softly barked, trotting next to her, and she reached up, her fingers running through his soft fur. She hugged his neck as though she had done it a thousand times and she believed she had.

"This was all?"

He barked again, a laugh. He turned and picked up his discarded clothing in his mouth and went further into the darkness cloaking himself. When he emerged minutes later he was human, standing on two legs, dressed. His grin took up his whole face.

"That was all," he mocked her.

"You made me think it was terrible."

"Isn't it?"

"No, why is that terrible, Jake?"

He laughed harder, holding his stomach as if to hold it in. "That's so you, Bells. Always loving the monsters."

"You're not a monster..." She tried to grapple what other monsters he could've meant. "Who -"

"Another time. Not today. You've had enough and so have I. Come on, I'm starving. Don't tell Jasper about this, okay? He'd bite me if he knew."

Somehow, in some way, she knew that he wasn't joking.

***

Jasper sat out at the edge of the nearest forest, just inside form the light, waiting for nightfall. It was two hours away, but worth the trip. He hoped more than ever that the unsatisfying taste of deer would not fail him. Soon he would have to return to that small room with Bella's blood, the very flood of her life that he tried not to think about. It was worse than when he helped Alice protect her from James. The hotel room hadn't been as small as the apartment she was living in. He could be in the other room, bury himself in Alice's neck so he could inhale anything but the scent of her. It kept him in control. There was nothing escaping Bella, except that she smelled like the dog. That helped in the slightest.

He comforted himself that if no one thought he couldn't do it, if Alice saw anything differently, he would have been forced to leave. He was glad that wasn't the case. As difficult as it was, with her blood and memory loss, he was happy to be there. He missed her. It wasn't a new revelation, it was always there, nagging at him. She was refreshingly different, her caring and love lifted any room she was in, and he loved drinking her in, in a way he never had from a human.

He thought of the only other girl he loved. She had a glowing aura of happiness that radiated in his human life. It came quite close to be revolting to him, but their families had been friends for generations. He had come to care for her. She cried from her broken heart when he left for the war. She threatened to reveal his age but who would have cared? They needed all the soldiers they could acquire. It was empty threats anyway, she never did such a thing, she only cried. However, it didn't have the effect most people would have concluded. It didn't make him feel bad, it didn't make him want to stay. It dispelled him, for she wasn't crying for him, she was crying for herself, for her own selfish, rejected heart.

That was what drew him to Bella. She was selfless. She never felt a twinge of fear for herself, but for a family that were monsters, and not even hers. Not in the way that they should have been. Jasper was in agreement with most of their family, Bella should be one of them. She'd make a lovely vampire, and it would help with his thirst. They could be together -

He stopped himself. It would do no good to dwell on useless thoughts. He had to focus on keeping his control. Bella needed him. That was all that mattered. Everything else would wait, he'd settle his own emotions later. She would always come first...

Alice's number was the first on his phone. He hadn't called her since Bella's accident, he'd been too busy. He did then.

"I'm sorry," she said at once, sadly. "There was no time, you could've done nothing to stop it. It was too sudden."

"I know..." The incident with Bella was nothing to what was at the forefront of his mind. It was something much more vital, possibly something he could change. As powerful as he was, the past was set in stone. "Can you still not see Bella?"

"No. I think you're right, I can't see the werewolves. That would explain why Bella shifted out of my visions. I never see anyone all the time, but those few times... She shifted back in so I thought nothing of it. I should've known something was wrong, but..."

"They're... Magical. There's no reason for them to exist but they do... Carlisle is fascinated by them. Did you tell him?"

"We spoke yesterday. He was going on about all these theories..."

"I was hoping -"

"That I would tell you when Bella would come back."

"She hasn't been lost. She's herself again. She's happy."

"You're not coming home," she stated.

"I don't know how long I'll be -"

"Take your time."

"What are you thinking, Alice?"

"Bye, Jazz!"

The screen lit, her name and the word, "disconnected," flashed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Jasper's Turn

Jasper pulled up to the curb and shut off the engine. He hated the garbage. It may have been Jacob's pride and joy but it was slow and decrepit. He moved to get out, but the window to Bella's apartment caught his attention. In the sliver of view between the blinds he caught the russet skin of Jake and the translucent paleness of hers. He leaned over to the passenger side as if it would help his view any better, one of the human traits he shouldn't have had.

Jacob prodded her gently at the kitchen counter and she prodded him back. They were laughing, hers especially carrying through to him, striking precious cords within his being.

"Jake... How can you turn into a wolf?"

Jasper gripped the door handle crushing it into dust, his other hand ripping the leather of the seats. He didn't care, everything was a red haze as his brain ran through the events of how he told her, what he told her, and the simple fact that he wasn't there. He was supposed to be there, in case the idiotic dog lost control. He'd _kill _him... He growled knowing that the mutt would hear.

Jacob sighed in response that may have well as been a defense. Bella may not have heard his cars approach, but he had, and he knew he was in for it.

"Our tribe's legend. I forgot you don't know it. I told you when you visited the La Push beach..." He re-told the story while Jasper fumed trying to not let his temper get the best of him. It wasn't shown often, but he did have a temper, most particularly over the people he cared for. He didn't care for the dog, of course, but the human girl he did care for.

He visualized all the ways he could kill Jacob Black. They flickered through his mind one after another, some elaborate plans of torture he had learned throughout his study (and life) in history. Some were quick and painless but those were no fun. He could just bite him, make it slow and painful with little effort upon his part, but those weren't fun to imagine either. He wanted to rip him piece for piece, let the body parts scatter, but he couldn't let that happen. Bella would be sad. She'd be horrified. She'd never recover... That was his mission to begin with. She'd die and Alice would murder him in return. It would do no one any good.

Bella's laugh drew him out like crack of a whip, his imaginings vanishing. It was so odd, to hear her laughter after all that time. It was beautiful, her heart whole with her amnesia. Everything Edward had done to her disappeared. She was okay. For the moment. When her memory comes back who was to say how she would handle it. That was why him and Jacob couldn't leave.

She had handled it well though. She was standing there with a man she knew could morph into a wolf at will and she wasn't bothered by it. There was a happy family feeling to the scene. There was cheerfulness and contentment. He was drawn to it, a nights moth to a dangerous flame.

"If it was a secret, why did you tell me," she asked innocently.

"You were cute."

He could hear the rush of blood to the moron's head and the pulsing color to hers, and he pushed the door open breaking the lock in the process. He did have to stop doing that...

"Welcome home," Jacob lied flatly as Jasper walked through the door. "Fix those doors for me later."

"Fix it yourself. Telling stories, have we?"

"A few."

His calm and off-handed way only added fuel to the fire that was burning in his throat as well as in his stomach. "I thought we'd tell her together."

Bella looked from one to the other. "What's going on?"

Jacob was quick on his feet. "He knows that I'm a werewolf and thanks to his own super-senses, he knows that you know now. He was listening to us."

A pregnant pause stretched, inflating between them, until Jacob had put the dishtowel down and faced them. Bella doing the same minutes later, dizzying contemplation. Then, when he began to worry about shock, she spoke.

"What," she gasped wheeling around to face him. "Jasper... What... Are you?" It was funny in a humorless way how she tried to form the sentence into one that was less rude.

Jasper shook his head not knowing where to begin. How long did he think he could put it off? A part of him had hoped that he'd never have to tell her. It was a stupid and demented thing to hope for but he had nonetheless.

***

"Jasper?" She worriedly took a step towards him but Jacob grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back. "It's not a surprise," she told him in his dazed expression. "You're obviously _something._ You're pale, you're like ice. I felt you when you carried me in. Your eyes... I've never seen anything like them... What are you? It's okay." It was what she had been waiting for, this revelation was what they were keeping from her – or it was at least a good portion of it.

He peered up at her and smiled. "You're right. You handled it so well the first time. But I better not show you." He gave a lethal glare to Jacob.

Then it came. The onslaught of the image, a clip running behind her lids. She couldn't escape the blurred boy behind the wheel of a vehicle going too fast, the flashing lights outside the window casting a glow on his face. He wasn't clear at all, none of his features smoothing themselves out. In the small clip she asked questions to a theory she knew was correct. He answered each one, uncomfortably short. Then it was gone, the memory running out of steam, the strange boy falling away, and she was back into her apartment. She was sweltering, bullets of sweat coating her as she laid in Jacob's arms on the floor. Jasper was next to her worriedly, as close as he dared to get.

"Vampire," she said breathlessly. "You're a..." The word was unnatural, more so than the fact. The fact didn't bother her. Like Jacob's, his didn't bother her. It was almost expected, most especially from him. Not that she would have ever guessed a vampire on the first try (possibly some overly-righteous superheros), but he was clearly _something._

"You're right," he stated seriously watching the beads of perspiration trickle down her forehead and his hand twitched as though to reach up and wipe it away.

She grinned happily. That may have been the wrong reaction but as it was before, she didn't seem to ever react naturally. She was happy, happy that they could all go on with their lives, just like they had before. Whatever that was...

If only it didn't feel like something else was missing. "Is there anything I don't know?"

***

He wished that she'd stop asking questions. She was shaking and sweating. He wanted desperately to hold her, to calm her, but the temperature of his skin could do no good. She could get sick in her state. The moment she had collapse he felt the confusion, it made him ill, the emotion so powerful the room had spun around him.

"Except a few facts about us," he told her quickly. "I'll fill you in later." He knew from Edward that she had asked if they lived in coffins, burned in the daylight, and every other horror genre lie. Surely she would ask the same questions.

Instead, she shook her head, her deep brown eyes in another place. He feared it was the past. The past involved Edward and he did not want her back there.

"No... It's not that."

"What is it then?"

"I don't know... I can't... Remember." She grunted and placed her fingers up to her slick forehead. It made him sick to see her in such a condition, and he realized that it was not all from her emotions. It was his.

"Can we stop this," Jacob snapped moving her over his arms. "Lets get her in bed."

"I can walk -"

"Sure, sure, she should rest," he told him ignoring Bella's hearted complaints to being taken care of. "I'm going to call Carlisle."

"Whose Carlisle," she inquired as Jacob laid her in bed, a furious glower at him. It was undeniably cute and he found himself smiling a little.

"My father. He's a doctor, I'd like his opinion on this."

"Your dad?"

He chuckled dryly thinking of his family, and all that she used to know. It was fascinating, the amount of memory that could be lost by a simple bump of the head. It was too easy... It was scary, how much could happen to a fragile human. He never noticed before, but the earthquakes, murders, tornadoes, a simple fall in the tub, and none of the had Bella's qualities for being clumsy and a danger magnet. "I have a lot to explain."

"I have some more questions," she warned.

"I know you do. They can wait. Rest."

Jacob tenderly dabbed her face with the blanket capturing her attention as Jasper stepped out flipping open his phone. In a few keys he was dialing Carlisle's cell, careful to stay in the shadows of the hallway. It was yet another day of light.

"How's Bella," he asked immediately.

"She had a flashback."

"What does she remember?"

"Only that I'm a vampire. She's confused now, but she's handling it all well."

"I'm not surprised," he said proudly, fatherly. "That's how she is."

"Carlisle, is there any way to give an estimated time that her memory will return?"

"I'm afraid not, son. This is amazing progress, I'm very impressed, I'm sure it'll be soon."

"Can you come here? I'd like if you'll examine her yourself. To be sure..."

"I don't think that's a good idea. If she doesn't remember, the rest of us -"

"You're not thinking it will frighten her? I doubt that. The girl isn't afraid of much. It may help her."

He was silent for only a few seconds. "Jasper, do you honestly want her to regain her memory?"  
Muffled only slightly was Bella's and Jacob's teasing, much like a brother and sister. She was happy, despite of the past two years she could not remember. Her emotions flowed like they used to, no barriers or built dams. It was beautiful, preciously so.

"No. I don't want that. She's happy this way."

"She will remember him one day, possibly soon." Without saying it directly, the message was clear.

One day, Bella would remember Edward, and the damage he caused. Jasper had a limited of time with her.

He was sent there to watch after her, to insure she had some kind of light in her life. Nothing was good enough and he decided to stay. He didn't know if he could've made her happy, but while she didn't recognize the pain that was surely still there he would try to heal her. It was like performing surgery. If all went well she would wake and be whole.

* * *

A/N: For those that are confused about Jasper and Alice's relationship, they are not together. They are strictly siblings.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Safe

Bella sat still and quiet as Jasper told her of vampires. He told her of the basic facts, how he sparkled in sunlight (promising to show her sometime), of how a vampire was changed, that they never slept, and other myths that Hollywood and purposeful misleadings had conjured. He also told of his history and of his family. She was fascinated, hanging onto every word that he said, not wanting anything to be held back, not being overwhelmed at all. He was not used to having an attentive audience, much less an audience at all. He was never one to publicly speak or to be the center of attention, but he relished it then, because her eyes were on him, as burning as her touch. It thawed him.

"Where are they now?"

"Carlisle and Esme are in New York, Alice is living near them. Emmett an Rosalie are in Africa." He never mentioned Edward. He feared that a simple slip of a name would bring back her memories and she would spiral down the abyss she had been in.

"They sound nice."

"They are. I couldn't have asked for a better family."

She stood from the floor they had settled on and climbed into her bed. "Thank you, Jasper, for telling me everything."

He kept his features smooth as he avoided what could've been a lie. "I'm glad you wanted to know. It was nice, sharing this with you."  
"Tell Jacob goodnight for me when he comes in," she yawned.

Jacob was out at the store for groceries. He left at twilight, the easiest time for vampires to control their thirst. Jasper appreciated it, but he would never admit it to the dog. There had to be a level of trust between them, and the threat of murder if they stepped out of their designated line.

The last contemplations of her day flickered and ceased, replaced by sweet sleep. Her figure under the blanket moved only to match the rhythm of her breathing wisps of breath perfumed by her sweet cherry flavored lips.

He let his imagination run, blaming it on the elation he felt at her happiness, her ready acceptance. He imagined those lips on his, the feel of her body pressing into him as he innocently explored her neck and hips. He felt his jeans tighten uncomfortably. Typically, all imaginings vanished when Jacob came striding through.

"Bella's okay?"

"Yes," he answered shortly in a wheeze meant for dying men.

He plopped on the floor taking out a hunk of wood and a short knife from his jean pocket. He began widdiling, the wooden shavings gliding to a pile on the floor. They mad a small mountain at his bare feet as he carved something that looked like it had an ear. He worked silently for hours, much to Jasper's liking. It was quiet aside from the scratching and Bella's occasional muttering of "who" and "Jasper." Every time he heard his name it was like he was soaring, lighter than he'd ever felt, and the other inquisitorial things faded as background humming.

Of course, the dog had to ruin it.

"What do strobe lights do to you?"

"What," he asked of the random question.

"They don't make you a disco ball, do they?"

"No, only pure sunlight can do that. Is there a reason for your inquiry?"

"I'm taking Bella out to a club."

"You can't, you're underage."

"Fake i.d."

That could work. The mutt was six-eight approximately, childish roundness of his face grown to a mans. He would have no trouble of convincing bouncers.

"Why a club?"

"Don't you vamps have friends?"

"Get to the point."

"What if your best friend forgot who you were? I want to make new memories for her. She listens to music now. She's not much of a club person, but it'll be good for her to get out and act like a college student."

He thought of Alice. It was difficult to conjure her with no recollection, the same girl who could see the future. That vision of her, without her visions, it made her vulnerable. All of the years they spent together being lost... No matter how impossible it was, there was a lot they continued to be unaware of in their species. If it was somehow to happen...

"I see where you're coming from. She will remember soon though."

"But this time she'll be happy. She won't be thinking of _him_ every second, or trying not to think of _him."_ It was clear that the spatting of the word "him" was referring to Edward, a taboo name in the presence of Bella, whether or not she was in the realm of dreams.

She stirred and moaned, her foot kicking out from under the blanket. It was as though she knew that they were talking about him, and Jasper ignoring that last unwanted thought leaned forward covering her again.

***

_ The embrace was ice, but it molded to her, the chiseled chest against her back. Goosebumps traveled up her arms but it had nothing to do with the cold. Popsicle lips trailed from her ear down her jaw resting on her chin. She moved slightly, and the lips let out a hiss. She felt the corners of her lips stretch out into a smile worthy of a proud cat._

_ "I love you Bella," a sweet voice breezed, velvety smooth next to the announcer on the television in Charlie's living room._

_ "I love you too..." She had forgotten his name. What was his name? It was familiar, she said it over a thousand times and thought it over a million. It was so close, it was there. Who was he?_

_ She looked up into the face but it was blank, gone. There was nothing and she screamed._

Bella shot up in bed, her breath ragged, her lungs heaving. Out of the shadows of her room Jasper and Jacob took positions like comrades beside her. Their hands grasped hers, and a hand - a hot one - gently pushed her back down on to her pillows. A cold palm rested on her head, her hair soaking the trickling sweat. It felt good on her hot face and she sighed contentedly.

She was safe. Jasper and Jacob were there with her and nothing could harm her. She was okay... She was safe... She slipped off to sleep once more, Jasper's hand on her cheek, cooling her.

In the distance she heard them speaking. She wanted to answer, to tell them that she could hear them, but she was too tired to talk, too far gone.

"Think we're causing the nightmares?"

"No. Bella's always comforted by us. She's not scared of us."

"Do you think she's dreaming about him?"

"Maybe... No one can know for sure."

Who was him?

***

Jacob pulled out a drawer beside him when Bella moved and blink rapidly up at the ceiling. There was a moment of confusion before she took notice that her drawer was open, Jacob's hand coming down.

"What're you doing, Jake?"

"Get dressed. We're going out to a club."

She glimpsed out the window, gold light leaking through the blinds. She groaned, rubbing the tired out of her eyes. "It's too early, not to mention you're too young."

"They're called fake i.d.'s. Now, get dressed."

"You shouldn't be using a fake i.d.!"

"Come on, you don't think I'm mature enough for _dancing?_"

"I have nothing to wear," she said next in her argument.

"I'll take you out."

"Jasper?" She looked to him worriedly, almost pleading with him to aid her. It was tempting, but so was the plan he had over the night...

"It's okay. Go and have fun. I'll come with you tonight." That, he certainly intended to do...

With bad trepidation she stood, yanking the band out of her hair, it falling down her back. "Fine," she snapped.

Jacob's spirits rose, and then descended slightly. It was one of those annoying times that Jasper wished he had Edward's ability. It would have been helpful to know what the dog was thinking.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming last night?"

She pulled a frustrated face. "No. I can't seem to remember anything. Why? I wasn't... Talking in my sleep again, was I?"

"A little, nothing of coherence," Jasper assured quickly to save her embarrassment.

She was thoughtful, apprehensive, but nodded. "That's good." She grabbed random pieces of clothing out. "You owe me, Jacob," she seethed.

Jacob only grinned at the bathroom door slamming shut, and Jasper's phone rung.

* * *

A/N: I apologize for this being later than what is common for me. If you check my Twitter you know that I've been very sick and unable to update. Thank you for all of your patience!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Beautiful Conundrum

The shopping trip was a disaster, to put it lightly. At the beginning, it was okay, Jacob had left her on her own disappearing elsewhere, but twenty minutes later and he was at her side reminding her that they were going to a club, not a football game. She never heard of such a rule that sixty percent of the flesh must be exposed, but what did he know, anyway? He'd never been inside of a club; he only knew from what he saw on television, which wasn't the greatest start. She could've been wrong, but two a.m. shows about drug busts didn't promote him a fashion designer.

She consoled herself with the thought that it could've been worse. From what Jasper told her Alice had frequently forced her into more than her fair share of shopping excursions.

Bella never did like shopping. It bored her. The sizes, the prices, the colors and different variety of forms. They all hung on hangers, waiting to be fished through, the annoying and chilling sound of metal against metal.

The clearance section was worse. The rejections of various articles of clothing were wedged together to be sifted through, to be checked inside of the collar instead of the printed number on the hanger because they were wrong.

It was there at the clearance rack that Jacob found her. He reminded her of the so-called "rules" and told her to buy anything and everything, he had Jasper's credit card. He looked proudly at the shoe box under his arm.

"Jake!"

"Come on, have some fun, Bells. The bloodsuckers are made of cash, he won't even miss it."

"If he wants to bite you, I'm not stopping him."

"I can take care of myself, it's him biting you that I'm sticking around to prevent."

She glared at him. "Thanks a lot."

He softened instantly, realizing his mistake. "And because when you had your memory, you didn't want much to do with anyone. I was pushed to the side."

She knew that, but she had never heard it put into those terms. Was she really so awful to leave her best friend behind? "I would never do that."

"You did, but you were a different person. Look, lets not talk about this, we have some money to spend."

It took a good two hours, but Bella did get her way and she bought plain jeans and a fitted black blouse. It was the only thing that Jacob hadn't complained about. If complaining didn't include the impatient sighing, like he was working overtime for too little of pay.

She threw the bag into the car and slumped into her seat on the way home asking the question that had been burning in her since that morning. "What is this, Jake? When did you suddenly care about what I wear?"

He shrugged and reached to the radio. She slapped his hand, but he didn't seem to notice, turning up the bass. It pounded in her head but it was similar taking a sip before drinking poison. She may have well take a sip, the impending explosion that she would have to endure at the nameless club they were going to attend.

Childishly she turned from him to the window, her arms crossed over her chest. It was going to be a long night, she could feel it.

***

When Jacob and Bella left, Jasper hunted. He filled himself of the nearby deer until he was sluggish. He'd always drunk more than the rest of his family, his thirst less controllable. It used to be a precaution, but with his temporary living conditions it turned into a necessity.

Jacob's stomach-churning scent was helpful in their case. Thanks to the close-quarters, the apartment dripped in it, and so did Bella. It was easier than it ever had been, not killing her. It didn't allow him enough room to like Jacob, but it did allow gratitude. Without him, she would have died long ago... That thought, it could've torn him to pieces. Just the thought... If it happened...

Stealthily he stayed within the shadows, running back to the hallway outside of Bella's home. The Rabbit was gone from the curb, and he waited inside, right over the dent that had yet to be fixed.

Nearly an hour later Bella scowled as she walked past him in the hallway outside of her door. She carried a light paper bag snatching her keys from her pocket, the jangling echoing her fury. He didn't need the vibrations stinging him to know how she felt. Everything else said it clearly.

"Do you want help?"

"No," she snapped, kicking the door closed.

It was humorous. He remembered Edward talking with Carlisle years ago in his study, how he compared her to a kitten with an identity crisis. She thought she was a lion. He was right, and Jasper loved it as much as he did.

He waited out from the sun to make way for the moon, for twilight to settle. Typically his cell rung; he didn't need to look at the screen to know who it was. He had specific instructions to give Jacob before he took her out shopping. The three of them had communicated through their cells. He gave Jacob one that he kept as a backup, and he reported to Jasper, and Jasper reported to Alice, and he reported back to Jacob.

"Mission accomplished," he reported into the receiver.

"Good," Alice chirped.

"Is there a reason for this? Why did you have me give him advice? You can't have possibly saw her future."

"It has nothing to do with her future. I know her, Jazz, she would've stuck out like a sore thumb at a club! He would've never taken advice from me, he knows you better. Guys listen to each other better."

He laughed. "Alright, she's angry, I'm sure that the dog did his job. I'll be sure to give him a biscuit later."

"Play nice," she trilled and hung up.

***

With her fingers Bella combed her hair. It was ridiculously straight. She didn't care to do anything to it (not that she had the supplies). She scanned herself over once, and went into the main (and only) room where Jacob and Jasper stood there in waiting. Jacob's smile widened but Jasper's lips only twitched.

"You look beautiful," he breathed in utmost seriousness.

"Careful," Jacob warned him as a blush crept over her and he took her arm. "This is going to be fun, you'll see."

"Sure, sure," she agreed half-heartedly.

He jerked to a stop bringing her with him. "What did you say?"

"Sure, sure?"

A strange expression came over him, clouding his earlier happiness. The air froze as if they were expecting a terrible occurrence. Time ceased for a whole minute.

"What is it?"

Jacob shook his head. "Nothing. Lets go."

She wasn't able to object as he started dragging her to the door, Jasper following a few steps behind.

The smoke-colored building sat at the end of a long street lined with twenty-four-seven stores, gas stations and fast food restaurants. The lights were bright in the darkness, the occasional car flying by throwing them into extreme shadows of themselves.

"I learned a bit of mechanics from Rosalie. I can make this go faster."

"Stay away from it leech, you've done enough damage."

Bella hid her grin behind her hair. she could tell that the derogatory mythical terms, the glares, and all of the pent-up hostility did not go far. She was willing to bet the rest of her memory that they did like each other, if not anything other than comrades. That was good enough for her.

"Have I ever been to a club?" It didn't sound like her, but neither did a motorcycle and cliff jumping.

"No," Jacob answered. "Your socialism didn't change."

"It did a little," she disputed watching the stillness of Jasper in the review mirror. Their gazes caught and her stomach tightened, her head hazing over.

She lost count of how many times she questioned their friendship. Aside that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, he was quiet, reserved in his manner of speak and action. Even if they had one class together, and even if they had shared a table, who made the first move? Neither of them were ones to break silences...

Jacob coughed sharply bringing them back into the car. They were turning into a nearly filled parking lot spilled with grease and oil stains.

***

Jasper struggled with his innate desire to turn around and to look straight into her eyes, without their medium of the mirror. However, Jacob pitiably coughed, and she was the first to break their contact. It was as though someone reached in and tore a string of his frozen heart. Regardless that the organ did not function anymore, he felt that it could with her. He felt strangely... Alive. Living in her eyes.

A diverseness of people (from look-alike Preps to Goths) lined up outside the door where a man who would rival the size of Emmett checked their i.d.s. When they made their way up to him Jasper put his plan into action, carefully sliding the tip of Jacob's card out of his pocket placing it in his, keeping his features smooth as he did so.

The bouncer glanced at his and Bella's I.d.s and Jacob's panic rose, escalating as he fished in his pockets frantically. Jasper never had so much fun in his life.

"I had it!"

"Sir, if you don't have identification on you I have to ask you to step aside."

"No, I had it, it's here somewhere."

"Step out of line, sir."

Bella's pity struck him odd, and she reached for his arm. "We'll leave, don't worry about it."

"I'm -"

"I think that since we're already here, that we should make the most of it," Jasper suggested quickly. "Bella and I can go on in and we'll meet up with you later." He placed his palm flat against her lower back sending a small douses of cooperation. He hated doing it, manipulating her the way he was, but it was important to him, he wanted nothing else.

Jacob was appalled, and more than angry. Jasper winked to him and the anger boiled his back as he led her inside, the door opening for them.

Strobe lights of a multitude of colors swung from the distant ceiling, a hoard of humans on the dance floor swaying and waving their arms to the beat, only a few of them aware of it. Some lounged against the wall, drinks of strong alcoholic odor in hand. The emotions of sexual desire, stupor, fordable happiness, and sick swirled in the air.

It wasn't two seconds and Bella rounded on him, yelling above the overly loud music. "What was that for?!"

He bowed to her ear inhaling her scent and feeling the knives it caused down his throat. It was worth it, to be that close. "Jacob's had his time with you. You remember him. You don't remember me."

She softened but only slightly. "This has to be hard for you." She waved at the crowd and their flowing blood beneath fragile skin.

He stopped breathing the moment they broke away from the dog and he swallowed then, his nose wrinkling. It was plenty of an answer for her.

Blue flashed over them, her complexion seemed paler after its passing. She was so fragile, and he never thought of it before, until then. One wrong move, an accident that took less than a second...

She didn't hide her emotions, she let them pour out and into him without shame. Trust, wonder, worry, and care. It choked him, the sweetest feelings he'd ever experienced from someone towards him.

It took all of his control not to get closer to her, but all he could do was offer his hand. To his elation she didn't hesitate, she accepted. There was no repulsion from his icy touch, and her warm one (though a burden to his thirst) felt right in his. He'd endure the torture if it meant he didn't have to let go, glad to have an excuse then.

They weaved through the dancers. Tugs on his arm alerted him that she was being jostled. It slowed their progress as he tried not to snap her wrist and tried not to breathe. When there was a greater tug he saw in the glass of someone's drink that behind him was a lusting heavy-set man with a hold on her other wrist attempting to pull her in the opposite direction, to him, away from Jasper.

"C'mon, deary, I'm much better," he slurred in her face. She backed as far as she could bumping into a lady, but no one paid her any mind. There was hardly any fear, only disgust. So typical of her, but those emotions were barely felt above his own...

Images of snapping his neck with the twist of his fingers came to Jasper's mind in quick session. If only he could've gotten by with it. However, he stepped between them, his golden eyes bearing into his dilated pupils. He opened his mouth to demand that he let her go, but he growled territorially, it ripping out of his chest, an instinct he couldn't control. All he could think was, _she's mine._

The drunken man stumbled back, suddenly frightened, right into the hard stomach of Jacob who came behind him in time to keep Jasper from doing the extreme of his precious inclinations. Bella's wrist was freed as the poor inebriated fool peered up into the man-eating grin, a flash of red over his teeth. It made him appear more sinister but it was true for the pup. He was as dangerous as Jasper.

"Slipped in through the window," he told Jasper, jerking his head towards the bathrooms that were in the corner. "Go on and get out of here, I'll take care of this one," he grabbed his shoulder.

He nodded once.

"Just get her out of here, and don't forget, I'm killing you later!"

The man's eyes widened at that declaration, but Jasper who continued to keep her hand in his started to the window. He guarded her next to him, keeping her cautiously in his sights. There was a small worry about her and he suspected it was for the trouble that Jacob wouldn't get into. It was like her to be worried about the wrong thing.

Jasper saw that there was indeed a window off to the side hidden from weak human eyes. He flipped the latch and opened it before kneeling and motioning for her to climb on. She did, again, without hesitation, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"I'm a bit heavier than -"

He chuckled gently disrupting her needless warning. "You weigh nothing to me," he informed and hopped out, careful with the precious girl on his back.

***

Bella's lungs heaved with the excess effort. Wrapped snugly as she was around him, it was hard to keep her thoughts straight. The gush of wind that blew on her face allowed her to stay in the present, feeling the muscles tense and ripple under her as he ran through back alleyways. Her hair whipped over her nose and closed eyes, the scent of her strawberry shampoo.

The breeze slowed as did Jasper. He lowered to the gravel behind an ominous building, allowing her to slide off. The toe of her foot slipped and she lost her balance, her other foot tripping the one that was twisting to the side, but before she fell he caught her waist. She gripped his shoulders, their bodies pressed against one another. He didn't let go, and neither did she. Her heart raced, breathless once more, and it wasn't from her near fall. Her adrenaline was pumping for a different reason.

His fingers loosened but did not release. He appeared to have been enjoying what would be akin to a meal, feeding off the position they were in. In some way, he was. He was drinking in her emotions.

It was odd, knowing there was nothing she could hide, but she didn't feel embarrassed. She wouldn't hide her face or close herself off even if she could. She found it strangely exhilarating, and she knew, that he was friends with her for a reason, and he couldn't have minded what he felt from her.

"You're a beautiful conundrum. You're not ashamed. That's good. You shouldn't be."

She lightly ran her fingertips over his cheek. There was a light curvature to his skin, like he had scars feathered over him. "You're beautiful too."

"To humans I am."

"You're dead leech!"

"And to some I'm a parasite," he muttered turning his head to Jacob's bellows.

Jacob stormed up the alleyway to their right, the streetlights fading from his furious visage. He stopped several feet from them, scrunching his nose in foul curiosity. "What is this?"

Bella promptly removed herself from Jasper, the lack of contact surprisingly opening a void in her chest she didn't know was there, but the way she formed herself to him was not appropriate for her friend – other friend, to see. "Nothing. I'm sorry we left you, Jake -"

"_You_ don't need to apologize," he glared pointedly at him and the look was mirrored with equal venom.

"Did you take care of the human," he asked tediously.

"Yes."

She looked from one to the other. "What do you mean, 'take care of'? Jake, you didn't kill him?!"

"No," he said shockingly. "A few broken bones never killed anyone."

Her mouth parted, ready to reprimand.

"He's fine. Jeez, Bells, give me credit here. We don't kill humans, we protect them."

"That was extreme -"

"It was a joke! But if you think that we're not going to protect you, you must have hit your head a little too hard!"

Without reason, a smile broke out between them, and she laughed. She didn't know why, she had the feeling that Jacob and her did it all before, that they argued, and it was coming from someplace else, the past she couldn't retrieve.

She took her boys hands and led them back to where she hoped the car was. In each hand, hot and cold. A werewolf and a vampire. Her best friends. They walked through the night, making their way home.

* * *

A/N: I apologize deeply that this chapter has taken so long. When I became sick I fell greatly behind in a writing contest (Nanowrimo) that I was participating in. I also did not anticipate how much time it would take and relinquished my other writing projects temporarily.

I did win the contest (yay) and I'm back, and will be updating more frequently like I used to! I'm very sorry and hope for your forgiveness! I have missed Fan-Fiction so much it borders on pathetic. Now I'm back with renewed energy and passion!

Thank so much to all of you! If I have not said so before, you are the best readers ever! I'm a very lucky writer.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Need

The plate slipped and fell, the water sloshing in the sink spilling over her weathered gray shirt.

"Graceful, Bells," Jacob jest.

She elbowed him but instantly felt a bruise forming. He was almost as hard as Jasper, and Jasper had flesh that was tougher than steel. "You're a jerk."

"Sure, sure." He sighed, "do you remember anything yet?"

She shook her head, the same as every morning that he asked, as though she wouldn't have told him. "No, nothing."

Handing a soapy cup to him he rinsed it under the faucet before drying and placing it in the above cabinet. They had a nice routine, a good rhythm working as a team. If that was how it always had been, how could she forget? The two beautiful men she was with, the joy she had with them... Even the simplest things, how could she?

"Why a club," she asked nearly laughing. Now that the horrid night was behind them she could look back and find humor into it. Jacob and Jasper tried to show her a good time, however terrible it was. Although the alleyway with Jasper was nearly worth it.

Scrubbing the pot where Jacob cooked noodles the former night she glanced crossway's at him waiting for her answer.

"Couldn't think of anything else, and I always wanted to go."

"Movies, a park, anything else."

"You don't watch movies. Don't listen to music either, actually, but the club has beats, not music."

"What?"

He paused and grimaced as though he let something slip. "Ummm..."

Jasper walked in then, groceries piled in his arms. He dumped them on the small circular table.

"Jasper, why don't I listen to music?"

He guarded his surprise, Jacob's raven head dipping low as if expecting him to lash out.

"Bella, sit down, please. The dog can finish those." He pulled out her chair, the perfect southern gentleman, and with wary eyes, she took a seat.

He sat across from her, his hands folded elegantly on the table. "There was an incident that happened two years ago. It left you in a deep depressive state. That's why I came here. It wasn't only to see you, it was to be certain that you were alright, that you found happiness. No matter how slight. I'm sorry to say that wasn't the case."

Her mind reeled. What could have possibly taken place that would have left her unable to be happy? Did someone die? Even if that was the reason, it wouldn't have stripped her joy of _everything_. "What happened to me?"

"It's not the time -"

"I deserve to know!" Her hands shook, like Jacob's when he was about to morph. She had to know. It was important, and they knew just how much. It could've been the key, it could have unlocked her memory. She wanted it. Needed it.

"You got lost in the woods," Jacob told. "Sam found you and brought you home. You were never the same since. No one knew what went on. You hardly spoke."

She pushed to remember, any flash, any little piece would've satisfied. There was nothing. A light pounding began in her head, and she pressed her fingers above her brow.

Jasper took her hand, lowering it from her face. "Don't force it. It'll come in its own time."

"What did I do?" She thought of Charlie, of Jacob. How badly she must have hurt them. Had she hurt Jasper too?

"You did nothing wrong," he hissed, surprisingly angry. His eyes were the burning intensity of the sun. "You did _nothing_ wrong. Everyone stayed by your side. You continued on. You did wonderfully."

She looked down to their joint hands. She caressed his knuckles with her thumb, slowly, feeling each of the mountains. Moving his palm upwards, she traced the crevices. He was like cooled satin, icy feathers.

Jacob coughed and Jasper retracted back quicker than she could blink. Her hand, alone ,the blood rushing, warming her.

"How would you feel to meeting your best friend?"

"You're not my best friends?"

"There's another - my sister. She has an ability too, to see the future, though it's void here with the dog in the way. Would you like to meet her?"

Her. She had a girl friend. She nodded. "I'd like that." How did she get so many good friends? She had to have been the luckiest girl on earth, and yet, she couldn't remember any of them.

Bella wasn't the top of her class, but she wasn't dense. She noted how Jasper was giving her a distraction, and she couldn't find it in her to fight too hard. Whatever happened to her, she was starting to think was best left as an enigma.

***

When Bella returned to help the mutt finish the dishes Jasper stepped out into the hall. He would call Alice in five minutes to tell her to come, and then he counted down in his head. Three... Two... One.

His cell rung. "Hello, Alice."

"I'm on my way! And I'll bring your bike. Thank you! Thank you for this!"

"I think she's ready."

"When are you going to admit it to yourself?"

He ignored the question. "See you soon." He flipped the cell closed.

Him and Alice had been together for over sixty years. They were close, they knew everything about the other. She didn't need her visions or Edward's mind-reading ability to know what was going on inside of him. It was a storm, it threatened to blow him away. His physical strength would be of no aid to him then. He was as helpless as any ordinary human.

He buried his hands in his jean pockets and leaned onto the wall resting his shoulder into the mold. Through a small window he watched the sun move over the sky, a fiery chariot. She was there, in his mind, a greater beauty than he'd ever seen in all of his years, all of his travels.

The door opened behind him and closed. Jacob came up beside him.

"You're worried," he assessed.

"Are you sure about this? What if she remembers?"

"We can't keep it from her forever."

Jacob's voice lowered gruffly. "Why not? If we can stop her -"

"No. She wants to know, and she will in time."

"What if she goes back to the way she was? I won't lose her again!"

Like static electricity the protectiveness stung him. "Maybe it will be better this time."

"Don't lie to yourself."

"She never tried to get over him, if she tried, she would have been better than the way I found her. Now that she's happy without him -"

"Until she remembers, and then that fucking hole will open up. It will destroy her. She can't survive it a second time!"

Inside of his pockets, he clinched his fists, bypassing his rising voice and fury. "Alice misses her."

"You're risking Bella for what your bloodsucker sister wants?"

"I won't let that hole kill her." He glowered at him. "And don't forget, pup, I'm a bloodsucker too."

Jacob lashed knocking Jasper flat against the wall, his face close to his, his black eyes glittering maliciously. His teeth were gritted in a snarl, his form trembling, shaking him.

Jasper didn't calm him, he did nothing but silently dare him. If Jacob was going to kill him, he let him try. He wouldn't mind throwing the moronic mutt around. Only... Only it would hurt Bella, and that was why he wouldn't cause the first injury.

"I'll tell you one more time, you pale-faced leech, stay away from her!"

"Not when she needs me."

"She needs _me_! You've never been there for her before, so why now?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have one.

"If she remembers, her death will be on your head. I'll kill your whole family for it. Fuck being in Forks, I will make all of your bastards pay for her life." He pulled him forward by the scruff of his shirt and slammed him back into the wall, plasters cracking and crumbling, white specks and clumps at their feet, Jasper barely feeling any of it. "When the girl-leech gets here, you'll leave. I don't need another keeping an eye on me." Jacob threw him back uselessly, his balance flawless, and he stormed out, vanishing from the window.

Jasper snapped his teeth together, struggling to keep his anger in check at the slammed door. He couldn't lose it too close to Bella, but the roaring thoughts were loud, his body singing. He wouldn't make the same mistake his brother made. He would never leave her. It became more than making her happy, to keep an eye on the pup. It was more than he ever felt.

Jasper _needed _Bella.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Reunion

Outside of the terminal in the connected rows of plastic seats, Jasper waited. It wasn't so bad, the swirling scent of humans around him. He felt himself improving, and he didn't even need Jacob to tag along (not that he could have if he wanted to).

The Alpha in his pack called him back to Forks for a few days. He fought over Bella's land-line for a good thirty minutes, but he couldn't disobey a direct order.

That was a fact that Jasper found amusing and quite sad. As a human he lied about his age and entered the army. He lived taking orders and rising in ranks. It was part of his duty to do as he was told, but to not have the freedom... It made him sympathetic towards him. At least it was singularly Edward that could read his mind, and he made his own choices.

Directing his attention away from his hazy past, a small girl with brown tresses skipped backwards towards him, making faces at who apparently was her twin brother. "Can't catch me," she taunted sticking out her tongue.

The boys eyes caught his and he rushed forward to pull her forward, away from the still and silent man. The girl however, moved faster, and Jasper's hands were already out to catch her, and he did, her tiny warm body colliding into ice.

She gasped and twirled, and he smiled, careful to cover most of his razor sharp teeth. "Careful," he said giving the small girl joy and calm.

She nodded and ran off with her brother, not looking back. They laughed, and he punched her.

"Don't hit girls," she yelled at him.

Jasper sat back crossing his ankle over his thigh. Children. Growing, changing, lovely innocent children. They had the purest emotions, and they were the most lovely of humans.

He remembered asking Edward about Bella's thoughts on kids, feeling a tenuous amount of concern for her. If she was to be changed - as was Alice's vision - then she should be aware that children was not in the deal. Edward merely shrugged, but the worry increased in his brother. With him, Bella would never be a mother.

A nicely lined flood poured out of the gate then and he stood politely. An elderly couple parted and there was his petite sister, all smiles, dressed like a runway model drenched in sunshine happiness.

"Jazz," she squealed, running up and pecking him on the cheek. "Guess who I brought?"

He didn't have the time to guess.

"Hey, bro!" Emmett, a bear of a man bellowed. His arms were stretched out wide, ladled with seven suitcases.

Jasper sighed, barreled with the elated excitement. "Alice, I thought wed didn't want to overwhelm her?"

"I'll go easy, man," he punched his shoulder playfully, but it made him take a step back. Emmett was the strongest vampire he ever encountered, that any of the Cullen's had encountered

"It's okay," she comforted. "She'll be fine."

He wished he could have let that soothe him, but he pushed it back roughly. She flinched, and did so again at the infliction of his next words. "She better be."

Emmett rose a brow at the harsh tone, smiling enough that the dimples in his cheeks deepened. It was more pronounced, the trademark of his childish ways.

Alice pranced ahead. "Come on, I want to see her. It's been too long. How much has she changed?"

"Not at all, except deep-set depression, sunken eyes, and a sickly shade of yellow tinged to her skin. Right now, with the memory of him gone she's like she was. Before we came into her life..."

"Don't sound sad," Emmett said.

"Can you see -"

"I'm sorry, Jacob's plans are interfering," Alice cut across him gently. "As long as he plans on coming back I can't see her future." She touched her forehead thoughtfully feeling foreboding. She never been without visions, it was a part of her as any other sense was.

"College hasn't done her any good then?" Emmett rolled his eyes. "I'll remedy that."

Jasper chuckled. "Jacob took us to a club. We ditched him, but that didn't last long."

"You three don't have a lick of fun! Don't worry anymore, I'm here."

Alice giggled, twirling around to walk backwards. "I can't wait!"

It was going to get interesting...

***

It was the first time Bella had been alone since her accident. She'd never given it thought, of how Jacob and Jasper were tentatively around. Instead, she found it comforting. Anyone would assume, however, that she would be relieved to have a few hours by herself, but that wasn't the case. She was lonely, bare to the void of the boys bickering.

There was something else too, a horrible ache, like a reopened wound. She wanted them back, to take the pain of abandonment away. There was no logical reason why she felt that way. They were going to be back, it was only three hours at most until Jasper would rejoin her. They didn't leave her for good.

If that was true, why was she curled in a fetal position on her bed holding tight to her midsection? If she dared to let go, she feared she would fall apart in measurable pieces. There was an explanation - there had to be, but she didn't know it, it was hidden behind the block her mind formed against her.

A hate she never experienced surged through her. She bit her lip to control her screaming. She wanted to know why. It wasn't fair, to break down for no purpose. She'd done it once though. In that two year spans something happened that broke her. She should've been glad that she couldn't remember, and she had been just yesterday, but she wanted to then. Desperately so. It was important. She was nothing without it, because that unexplainable ache would always be there, and how could she fix something if she didn't know what was damaged?

In the small rational space she had, in an outsiders view, like one would have of themselves on an operating table, she admired herself. It was astounding that anyone live thorough such pain. Whatever the case was, she was strong, but did it matter? Was she truly strong if she couldn't get out of her bed? Was she truly strong if all she wanted then was Jasper with her?

***

Alice was bouncing in place when Jasper unlocked the apartment door. In the small space they were in (Emmett taking up most of it), the emotions set him on a high, vibrating off the walls making him smile. He had missed his family; he didn't realize how much.

He was one foot in when Bella leapt off the bed and charged at him. For her it had to be like running into a wall,and instinctively he held her waist keeping her upright and safe, and yet close to him. It didn't faze her, she buried her face into his chest, inhaling deeply, soaking him in relief, but it was quickly replaced by fear. It engulfed him, overpowering the high from everyone earlier.

"Bella? Are you okay? Are you harmed? Bella?" He begged to some power that she would answer. If she was harmed... If something else bad happened to her...

"You came back."

Pity and her former depression clung to her like a skunks stench. He couldn't breathe. "Of course."

"I thought..."

Alice closed her eyes in sorrow and even Emmett could not find light in the situation. It was plainly sad and heartbreaking. They shut themselves in, but backed to the wall, giving them space, but Emmett didn't take his sights off of them, dropping the suitcases carelessly beside him.

He whispered in her ear, though he knew the others could hear he wanted her to to feel his lips as he said it. She had to know it was the truth. "Bella, I swear to you, I will never leave you. Ever." She shivered and against his better judgment he breathed in her scent, pressing his nose in her sweet lilac-smelling hair. Her top had ridden up, and he touched the small of her back, running his fingers over the soft flesh. He could feel the effect he was having on her, and he knew that she could feel it too, but in a much more physical way. Her shyness was creeping in, and it was just in time, for then Emmett coughed.

Reluctantly he released her. There were no tears; what he saw and felt was worse. A hollowness, worry. With the last trailing of his fingers he spread tranquility. She smiled up at him knowingly.

Alice, whose happiness was returned with full force wasted no time in pushing him aside and hugging her friend with careful precision. "Bella," she sighed, "I've missed you!"

"I missed you too," Bella said uncertainly, trying obviously to remember any of her past to remember the strange girl. Her face twisted into effort, but it was clear that she wasn't able to recall a sliver to help her.

Alice slowly stepped back, her eyes exactly like his shined, but the tears didn't spill over. They never would.

"You don't remember me."

"You're Alice. Jasper's sister."

He noted the way in which she responded. Jasper's sister. Not Edward's sister.

"Jazz," her tinkling voice cracked with sadness and he touched her shoulder in sympathy.

"I know."

"I'm sorry -"

"There's no need for you to be, Bella," Emmett spoke up, a little too loudly. "You're still you. Hey! Think quick!" Too fast for human eyes he whipped around them and swung her up in the air. Her head only grazed the ceiling before falling into his arms, a scream stifling in her throat.

They all laughed, including Bella when she had caught her breath. He watched her beauty, the way her hair cascaded over her face like dark silk.

"You must be Emmett!"

He gleamed, "I must be more remembered than you, shorty."

"It's hard to rid of nightmares," she teased back.

Jasper was sure then that things would be easier. He had his family. What could possibly go wrong?

Then, out of a side pocket of a suitcase, Emmett brought out...

"What?!" Bella retracted quickly, away from the object.

Alice giggled. "I have that in purple!"  
Bella stuttered, refusing to touch the vibrator he held out, and Jasper burst out laughing. Murderous vampires she could handle, but a shiny plastic toy was scary.

"You don't like it?" Emmett pretended to be crestfallen, the corner of his lips pulling down.

Jasper wrenched it out of his hand shoving it back into the pocket it came from. "That's enough trauma."

He winked at her, and she looked like she had been painted with the juice of beets. There with his family, she belonged, and it was more obvious then than it ever was, because she was happy, and she was out from under the shadow of Edward.

Yes, it was perfect, so what could possibly go wrong?

* * *

A/N: Happy birthday to one of my faithful readers, airwithwater. Have a wonderful birthday, hun!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

A Disgrace

The coal-haired girl tsked as she rummaged through Bella's dresser drawers. She pulled out jeans and t-shirts and piled them on the floor. Bella ignored her quiet commentary and flipped through an aged classical book, her favorite of Jane Eyre, reading her favorite lines, searching for her favorite scenes.

Despite the assaults against her wardrobe, she could see how she easily became friends with Alice. She was friendly and chipper, and at the same time, real. She _knew_ that she missed her, but she couldn't feel the proper emotion that came with the memories. There was only void, a black abyss.

"Have you not kept any of the clothes that I gave you?"

"Why would you give me clothes?"

She spun holding a faded green shirt that had a pin-size hole in the seam of the shoulder. "This is why! This is a disgrace!"

From where she sat on her bed she inspected it. It was plain and comfortable, lovingly worn. "I see nothing wrong with it." She could see why her friend would though. Alice dressed like she should have been with the elite, not in a studio apartment with her. If she thought her friendship with Jasper seemed impossible she couldn't imagine having been _her_ best friend. How did she manage without her self-esteem sinking?

"I gave that dog specific instructions and he failed me!"

Emmett laughed as he set up what appeared to be a curtain, one that could be found in a hospital. This one was made of black velvet, heavy drapes. "Give him a break, will you? He's done well considering. He hasn't turned our Bella here into lunch meat yet!"

"That's comforting," Bella muttered flipping a page.

"Give him a break? You tried to snap Jasper in half when you realized that there was no privacy here!"

"She's living with two men! It's inappropriate for a young lady... You haven't been sleeping -"

"Emmett!" She cut him off at his question directed at the young human.

Bella blushed furiously, lifting her book to hide her burning cheeks. She never had a big brother before, but she imagined then that if she had he would be a lot like Emmett. He had the right amount of protectiveness and annoyance.

"What do you want to do today," he asked her as he attached the last metal ring to her curtain.

Alice hissed, "she's going shopping with me. This mess is despicable." She held up shorts with frazzled hems and it sounded like a whimper escaped her lips and the question, "why."

She quickly tried to remedy her potential torturous thoughts. "Actually, Alice, I have to study. I have a lot of history to catch up on."

"Jasper's been around, I'm sure you're more than caught up on that particular subject."

"Well, there's math -"

"My specialty, we'll get done in no time."

Her fear intensified. She imagined being treated as a Barbie doll. In fact, she anticipated it being worse than that. At least Barbie got a reprieve when the brother tore off their heads and sent them on a homemade rocket.

"Science -"

"Bella, what have you been doing with your time if you have not been shopping or studying?"

Emmett plopped beside her not jostling the bed or her, his hands beneath his ruffled brown hair, his black boots next to her bare feet. Gently, he nudged her with them.

It was unsettling and amazing that someone as big as he was could be elegant. However, watching Alice flit around flawlessly made him look almost clunky.

"You may as well give it up," he advised, poking her shoulder with the tip of his finger. "She always gets her way."

Jasper strolled in then jerking his head so the sunshine fringe of his hair was flipped from his eyes. She admired that, that one simple motion as supper wafted from the plastic bags looped over his arms. She breathed in the saucy chicken wishing she was breathing him in instead.

He paused halfway towards them, tasting the atmosphere and glancing to each of them in turn. "What's wrong?"

Alice shook the clothes in her fist. "This! Look at this, Jasper! How could you let this happen?!"

"I'm sorry about the tragedy."

"Is Jake coming home," Bella asked before Alice threw the apparel down and threw herself at him, but her question nagged at her. She didn't know when her apartment had become Jake's home. He had a home, in La Push.

"No. He said that Sam still needs him. He's going to call tonight, to make sure we haven't -"

"Sucked me dry."

He laughed with her but his eyes tightened and he sat the four bags on the table. Her stomach grumbled embarrassingly, and of course, Emmett laughed.

"We're leaving immediately after you eat," Alice warned her as if she was heading off to the gallows, but that could have possibly been her mind constructing what she thought it was.

She decided that she would consume all the food and do so as slowly as possible.

***

Even in his absence of almost two days, Jacob's scent nearly dissipated. Jasmine overshadowed that of Alice's sunshine and Emmett's apple, and Jasper was on his brink. He became too dependent and he was paying the price. The most painful one at that other than giving in. He had to distance himself from Bella.

Once he set the food out he apologized and bolted out. At the quickest human pace he flipped up his hood, pulled on his gloves and kept his face low.

He looked suspicious going to the restaurant, people giving him more than a second glance, and he realized then that it was another perk of having the dog around. He did all the shopping, and more than that, he cooked, something Jasper hadn't done in centuries... He knew he should have waited in the drive-thru but that took longer, and he wanted to get home to her. Much good that did, he couldn't be with her without the stupid dog.

He walked straight into the small woods, a good yard in when he dropped in front of a birch. He lowered his head between his knees, his fists in his hair, and tried not to think of her delicious blood on his pallet. He _wanted _it. He couldn't allow himself to need it, because he needed her more. He needed her alive in some form or another.

He heard the soft rustling of the grass and the smell of apples. He didn't need to look up, or over at Emmett as he sat beside him to talk, as he had so many times in the past.

It was something not many knew, but he was one of the best people to talk to (aside from Alice). There was something they held in common: They both felt little remorse for their murderous actions, and they both cared for Bella - though they hadn't at the beginning. He saw her a any other human, Jasper saw her as a threat. She came to mean more. For Emmett it was at first gawky trip, for Jasper at first joy and compassion. It increased in a short measure of time, but in very different ways.

A long silence stretched in which he heard Bella and Alice leave, Bella griping and pleading most of the way. Departed from her pulse, safe with his overly-strong brother, under his breath, he briefly smiled at it.

"You know, I don't need any of your freaky abilities to know. How long have you been in love with her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't yank my chain, bro. I see how you look at her. Tell me."

Jasper... He... Loved her... It was hard but it was true. Jasper was in love with the girl. He resisted that emotion for so long he was tired in a way he hadn't been since he fought his hunger for human blood. Hearing it, it made it more substantial. The rays of light falling on the part he kept asleep for so long woke him, but he was tired and sick of that darkness.

However... It wasn't the time. Not when Bella didn't know him the way she should, and not that it mattered. He could never be with her, his brother's love. Whatever was Edward's ridiculous excuse for leaving her it didn't give him any rights to her. He had to step aside, let fate take over. If it was meant to be, it would. For the first time, he had to believe that, because not having her at all... There was nothing like it. No pain would compare, and he had known pain. All one-hundred-and-forty-two years of it. That was why he was sitting in the fucking woods away as she ate, so he wouldn't eat _her._

"Jazz?" He raised a thick dark brow at him.

That was something else not many knew about Emmett. He was observant, he simply kept it to himself. As interfering as he could be, he did not like causing serious trouble within his family.

"Maybe I always have. Staying in that hotel with her, her compassion, and love..." It overwhelmed him, not to mention included a lot of anxiety that she was also feeling, but it made him more compelled to protect her. And yet... "I almost killed her then. If Alice hadn't been there, hadn't stopped me and make me look at her... I can't count how many times at my jaws she's almost lost her life."

"Does it matter?"

"It wouldn't have - not to me, but to our family. It's all that matters now. To me."

"She's obviously alive, _thanks_ to you. You helped her. Now, why don't you go after her? She feels the same way, I see how she looks at you. To her your the 'effin' sun."

Wistfully, he smiled, reliving the waves of adoration from her. A bath in petals, soft and caressing. He brought himself out of it for the reason why he couldn't... "Edward."

"What about him?"

"I can't take someone he loves. We both know he loves her, that it hasn't changed. He'll come back soon. I can't take her, I don't have the ethical right."

Emmett narrowed his eyes at him incredulously. "The _right?_ The bastard left her! He left her _alone_ in the _woods._ And you're worrying about taking her away?! He lost her and he'll have to deal with that loss."

"You don't care if she ended up with Alice, as long as she's one of us," he pointed out.

He laughed, a bark nearly as loud as Jacob's. "That too. But mostly I want her with someone that's going to treat her right. You'll love her, protect her, you'll be best for her. Edward doesn't know what he had, he's not mature. Maybe Esme's right and Carlisle changed him too early. All he thought about as a human was war. You've been through tons of wars. Tell me that what's keeping you from her is _him._ I will bury you here if you say it is."

Jasper thought of her silky hair. Her deep doe eyes. Her smile, laugh, heart, her gut-wrenching emotions. He thought of all the reasons he couldn't have her. "She will have her memory back, and..."

"And what, bro?"

"She'll remember that I tried to kill her." Her birthday, the cake, the presents, the cut, the blood, the burning, the glass, the fury and fear...

"Dude, she forgave you for that. That wouldn't change even if you snapped at her everyday."

"It's not that... I'll never know if she forgave me for Edward leaving."

"He would've left soon enough. She won't blame you for that either."

Of course she wouldn't. Not understanding Bella. It didn't change that he couldn't give her a fairytale. He wasn't a monster that could be saved by a kiss or a tear. There was no wishing on passing stars for his humanity.

"She wanted to be one of us, and we want her." He shrugged as if they were talking about another game he'd won. "Edward's not here to stop us this time."

"Now's not the time, Em. I want her to remember." _I want her to know me for me. All of my __secrets._

"It won't make a difference."

As well as Edward could read thoughts, Emmett knew his, and knew he wasn't simply talking about her memory. "It could. She did love Edward."

"She loves you. You love her. He left her. You won't. Don't let her go like he did."

The prospect of walking away from her emptied something inside of him. He couldn't entertain the thought of his life without her. "Never," he told him adamantly.

"Show her."

Her laugh, her heart, her smile, the way her hips moved, the way her hair fell, the way her eyes glittered, the way her hands felt in his, her warmth, her perfect lips. The blood, the burn. Her. Everything that was her, the image of her, a golden-eyed beauty.

He recalled Edward's return from home, his grave face, a permanent fixture upon him since Bella's birthday. He told them that they must leave, and while Esme dried sobbed into her hand, Rosalie packed, and Alice and Emmett yelled, Jasper stayed in the corner, barely tapping out his calming energy to the room.

Jasper knew what was right, and it was telling Bella the rest of his story, telling her that he wanted her. Emmett was right, he had to do something. He couldn't lose her before he had her. He wouldn't. She was his. She loved him, he knew she did, she loved him in a way she hadn't loved Edward. It wasn't particularly less, but the as powerful in a different way, and it was time that he accepted it. She carried more than Jasper's heart, she carried all of him. For the first time in his life, he felt safe, and it was only the power of irony that it would be a human.

"Don't tell her I said this," Jasper ordered, "but you may give better advice than Alice."

Emmett guffawed, "no, man, I won't tell. Scary monster, that one."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

A Vampire in Forks

Four malls, fifteen stores, a boutique, and she felt ready to keel over. Bella Swan vowed she would never complain about any other shopping trip in her life, as long as she didn't have to go with Alice again. She felt like she had been dragged like a favorite doll. It was unfair, there were plenty of other badly dressed people. Why was she targeted? Did she do something she couldn't remember? Was it the reason for the torture?

"Don't you feel better," Alice questioned happily while she folded and put away her new and over-expensive clothes.

"No."

"I do." She began humming, a voice an angel would give their wings for.

She rolled her eyes falling into her bed relishing how soft her pillow was, how comfortable the mattress made her. Her feet throbbed angrily. She wouldn't have been surprised if they were bleeding, her thin soaks soaking it up, but if that was the case and one of her vampire roomies lost control she'd take the death. After all, where was the mean brother that skyrocketed Barbie when you needed him?

Tossed by her outstretched arm was a nicely folded outfit of black and red. She lifted her pinky finger onto the material feeling the unbelievable softness of it.

"I'm tired," she informed her, eying the outfit warily.

"You're going out with Jasper tonight. He'll ask you, but I want you to be ready. Right now he's stuck in traffic."

Bella picked up the sheer scarlet top and the fitted charcoal jeans. "Where is he taking me?"

"It's a surprise; you'll love it."

If it included moving, she was not about to agree. She laid her head back and instantaneously fell into dreams.

_Romeo called out to his Juliet, declaring his love for her. Someone echoed his voice in her ear, softer than silk, a deep and supple whisper of Jasper's. She shivered from the words and the frost of his breath. She pressed closer to him as if he was her heater instead of the conditioner he was. She was submerged with lust and love, it flooding from every pore of her body._

_ She tried to move, wanting to be closer. It was aching in her, something pulling towards him. There were vices on her hips, and she looked down to see that there were pale hands keeping her immobile._

_ Questions flared like Fourth of July. Was she unattractive? Why was he keeping her from him? Did he not like her? Was something wrong? Why was he whispering romantic lines if he didn't lust for her? It had to be her, deep down she knew it was. There was something wrong with her, and idly and strangely she wondered if it was because she was human. Only hands as pale as his had to be something else._

_ She was human, she was weak and unworthy. She wanted to cry, a ripping from her chest. She looked back, and saw that it wasn't Jasper. It was that other man, a stranger holding her, his eyes black as night, and she felt cheated, and she plummeted, screaming for Jasper._

The terrifying dream ended there, cut jarringly in half by a ringing. She thought she had been screaming, but other than the sore constrictions of her throat she wasn't sure, the dream had evaporated.

Alice held her cell out, not looking at her, but at the new flowing top in her other hand.

Bella sat upright taking the small device. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells!"

"Jake, how did you get Alice's number?"

"Jasper. Look, I''m going to be here longer than I thought." The end of his sentence twisted into a growl that vibrated through the ear piece. "Sam is making me pick up the slack here. Seth is sick."

"Oh, that's terrible. Give him my best."

"I will."

"What slack do you need to pick up? Are there..." She couldn't say the word 'vampires,' it felt odd and silly. "Is Charlie okay?"

"Everyone is fine, Bells. We have it here. I have to go, but take care, call me everyday, three times, leave messages."

"Jake! Jake? Hello?" The dial tone announced the void, and she handed the phone to its owner.

"Don't worry."

How could she not worry? She knew Jacob's pack protected humans from vampires. She knew that they took shifts when they were near. She had seen vampires, how could they beat them? She couldn't form a vision in her head of how they would win, and obviously they had, but... It worried her.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

She was hyperventilating, trying to pull sufficient oxygen in her lungs. There were vampires in Forks and she thought of everyone that could have died. No, he would've told her if anyone did, he told her everyone was fine. What wasn't he telling her then? What could be worse? "Vampires in Forks."

"What? Did he say that?"

"Not... exactly..."

Alice gripped her shoulders, forcing her into her line of sight. "Listen to me, calm down. We lived in Forks. Sam isn't fond of us, he's taking precautionary measures in case we've came back and haven't notified them. Okay? Breathe, you're turning a sickly color. Don't want Jasper to see you like that."

She nodded and attempted to, breathing slower, her head feeling her slowing heart rate, pounding with the beats. It wasn't the best idea to get worked up around people who's solitary diet was blood.

It didn't stop the nagging in her gut that told her she was clueless about many things, though. What Alice said made sense, but there was more. What could be more difficult than confessing they were mythical creatures?

Her firing contemplation was cut abruptly when Alice dumped a bag of clinking tubes and compacts on the bed. She thought the nightmare was over but she realized it was only beginning when her dear friend cheerfully said, "sit still," and flipped open the top to rosy powder.

***

As a test of his control Edward had taken Bella to his meadow of escape. It felt like centuries ago that they awaited the night to know if she had survived. Since then, in testament, it became theirs. No one went there, but Alice had told them it was beautiful, perfectly round.

It peeved him then, that they had their memories, but he had none with her that could be remotely memorable. They didn't have meadows or movies, or lines. They had the apartment with the fur-ball, and the club they sneaked out of. None of that was something he wanted to be remembered for. He wanted something she'd look back and smile upon, and recall that she was utterly happy without a worry or care, without playing mediator between a werewolf and a vampire.

Jasper would do something for her then. That was besides buying the bike he had, specific for the purpose of not being enclosed in a small space with her scent filling it. He planned on taking her for a long while, but there was not a time that was perfect enough, but there was no such thing. There would never be a time with a sufficient amount of flawlessness that he desired.

In portion of his plan, there were over a hundred thousand journals that he owned and completed. For every fifty that he filled he would go to Texas, to his old home. He buried them in the presence of three specific graves. While he was there he cleaned the headstones and laid freshly cut heather on them.

He didn't think about those graves often. He didn't even know why he cared. He wasn't Jasper Whitlock, he hadn't been that soldier for over a hundred and fifty years, but somehow, it mattered.

Bella never knew, but she would. He would tell her the past that his coven only had known.

At the local park where a family of five threw a Frisbee, he sat underneath a tree. He propped up his new leather bound journal on his knee. He admired the cream paper, blank and ready, before he clicked the clasp on his small case and took out a pen. He began sketching, drawing, for her. He would do better than tell her. He would show her.

***

She had to admit, Alice did perfect work. Her hair was straight and as soft as her blouse, her skin unflawed of blemishes. She looked... Beautiful. It was hard to believe the girl she was staring wide-eyed at in the mirror was her, but when that girl matched her movements there wasn't a doubt. That was her.

"He'll be here any moment," Alice called to her causing Bella's heart to skip several beats.

Once she stepped out of the bathroom, it was Emmett that came in through the front door, stopping in his tracks at the sight of her. "Whoa, looking hot there, Bella!"

Alice grinned like a proud mother, but Bella blushed so deeply she thought she'd melt the makeup off. She moved quickly to sit with her on the bed hiding her face behind the chocolate curtain of her tresses.

"Rose will want you in a week," Alice informed Emmett as he dropped three thick and scholarly books on her desk.

"But I signed up for geology!"

"No, you signed up for that pretty red-head you spotted on campus, and that Hispanic taking Psychology. Better not let Rose find out about it. You can drop the classes, if you'd like, I'll handle all of it."

"I don't want to leave yet," he whined. "I've hardly been with Bella at all since you've been using her as your personal plaything."

Alice grinned and Bella was lit on fire. "You can't beat me, big brother, so what will it be?" She held up the phone, waving it temptingly in front of him.

Bella knew that if Emmet would have lunged he would've done so carefully. He never once came near to hurting her, much less starting a doomed fight with his little sister, but she inched away just in case. He looked about to blow, glaring down at her.

"It sucks having a psychic for a sister," he muttered picking the books and thundering out.

Bella and Alice laughed until Alice began fiddling with her hair, pushing it away from her face, and straightening her blouse. Bella sat still as stone until she was done, and then - as if right on time, Jasper strolled in.

He appeared to have been rendered speechless, and for a second before she spotted the boastful beam of Alice, she was worried. She cursed herself when she blushed. If she was going to be with Jasper most of the night she had to get that under control.

"Alice," he sighed. "Why did you put makeup on her?"

"Because, Jazz, she's so pale, almost as pale as us, she needed a bit of color."

He shook his head and disappeared into the bathroom, the sink kicking on, water splashing, and he came back. In his hand was a damp rag, and he covered his finger in the corner. Gently he wiped her forehead, her cheek, her eyelids. Her breath quickened, it was humiliating, but her mind was ahead of her filling with that pull she felt somewhere before, a lifetime ago that she couldn't recall.

"She hates makeup, Al, you know that. Why humiliate her so?"

"It wasn't humiliating. She handled it well!"

The fibers swept over her lips, tugging with the lipstick. She was being wiped clean, showing her true features, the girl he knew. She opened her eyes as he drew back.

"You're beautiful the way you are." He kissed her cheek, his lips lingering while his hand took hers. He pulled her out the door.

Bella looked over her shoulder at Alice. She thought she'd be offended for her work to be erased as though it never were there, but she was radiant.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Heaven and the Never Aging Soldier

The inky sky rolled with dark clouds, the air tasting strong of ions. She thought that Alice would have given her a jacket or umbrella if it was to rain, but doubts began presenting themselves when a crack of thunder sounded in the distance.

They took a sleek silver motorcycle, him making her wear a matching helmet that he took from a side leather pocket. It was a good thing he was strong and resilient because she held on tighter than she ever had.

She vividly remembered Charlie telling her horror stories. He begged her to promise him that she would never ride a motorcycle. Bella never had any desires, and so it was not hard to give him that promise. However, she was an adult, she was on her own, and she knew better than anything that Jasper would not let anything happen to her.

However, her heart raced, her adrenaline pumped as she climbed behind him. The roar made her jump and she felt his chuckle as he sped off, faster than what was legal.

Yet, it thrilled her, the lean and curves, the pushing wind. It excited her in more ways than one, for she was flushed up against him, her knees at his waist, her cheek at his back. She was less mortified than she used to be (shy all the same), knowing he was feeling everything from her. He must have felt them before, and had been around him for years. She shouldn't have been shy, but she was, and dearly hoped that that one emotion was all he could feel, that it somehow reigned all else.

Bella didn't pay attention to where they were going, concentrating on their position, and how the rumble of the vehicle felt, the forceful wind, and the firmness of her grasp on her best friend. She was nearly overwhelmed by all of the senses.

Her legs were shaky as he lifted her from the bike. She was positive it wasn't because she was still sore from the shopping trip. The ride there had made her weak at her knees, and he held her a few beats longer than necessary before leading her to the park ahead.

It was shrouded in darkness, but she could see that it was barely larger than a football field, and lovely for its full trees and the plain sparkling fountain in the center. The trickling water was soothing, background music to the night.

They rested under the closest tree, its branches reaching out to cover them. He withdrew something from the inside of his black jacket. A book.

"You know about the war, Bella. About Maria and my murders. You know what I was and who I am. I want you to know who I was then, as a human." He laid the book in her hands. "It was work, but I spent every second holding onto a few memories from that life. My family knows and now, that means you too."

She touched the leather cover, breaking contact from his amber eyes. She opened it to the first page where there was a realistic drawing. If she hadn't known better, she would've thought it was a photograph. There was an elderly couple adorned in old dress. The pretty woman sat on a chair, the man behind her with his hand on her shoulder. Neither smiled, but there was happiness in the crinkle of their skin, the crescent lines around their mouths. They looked so much like Jasper... The man's curly hair, the woman's eyes... Their seriousness, with the exception of the brightness of their eyes. They showed kindness.

"My parents. The photo was burned in a house fire in 1872."

"They look nice."

"They were," he agreed proudly, looking fondly down at the picture. "My dad was an architect. He helped build our entire town. You can't see it here, but he had three missing fingers, and a foot. It was astounding that he survived to be forty..."

"That's so young..."

He smiled at her sweetly. "In those days that was old."

On the next page was a young girl of three, curly hair whirling around her petite figure as she twirled on the tips of her toes. There was a smile spread over her innocent face, and she could imagine the glow off of the pretty child. He didn't have to explain who she was for the dancer had his prominent cheekbones.

"My little sister. She died of an undiagnosed illness three weeks after I drew that of her..."

"I'm sorry..." How could so much tragedy be put on him? It wasn't fair.

He turned the page for her, and she saw a beautiful woman not much older than herself. She was sparkling with a light of goodness. She had small features, and she was -

"Pregnant." He pointed to a small child to the opposite of her on the next page, a boy and girl of the same age, both with his straight nose and wry grin. They were running through tall grass encased by a picket fence, the same woman without the protruding stomach, laughing after them. Somehow, she knew, that it was Jasper's family.

"Jasper..." She didn't know what to say. "What happened to them? The woman? Your children?"

"My love, Heather married a successful gentleman, and lived a long, happy life. My son, Maxwell married and did as well."

"The girl?"

"Anna spent her life searching for me." There was a longing and ancient sadness that laced his words. They grew heavy, crushing stones as he went on. "A few years following my transformation, I went to see them. During my time as a soldier I received letters from Heather. She told me that we were having a child. I was scared and joyful. I was going to be a father," he smiled ghostly. It was what once may have been the smile of a carefree human, but it was haunted, and it would never be the same.

"I promised to marry her upon my return, but I never got that chance. I did return, it was in secret and it was only to be certain of her happiness and the safety of what I saw to be our children. They were the most precious gems.

"But, I watched too closely. Anna spotted me and I ran. For her it was a flash, but she knew what she saw. Her whole life she searched for me, believing my death was a mistake and I was alive. I wanted to go back to her, explain, but I was a monster, and I was under law. It goes without saying that there was no denying that if I got too near, I would've killed her. I watched them grow and die..

"You know the rest."

Tears prickled her eyes and streamed over as she turned page after page. Drawings of Jasper as a child, reading and writing, his parents teaching, his girlfriend, their children. They grew gorgeous and handsome, but on the last page was the conclusion. Three gravestones engraved with their names, birth dates, and death dates. They died and he lived on, never aging. The never aging soldier.

He touched her hand. "This is what it's like, Bella. You wanted to be one of us. Do you still want that?"

Gingerly she closed the book, clutching it in her lap. She tasted salt and sniffled. "To be in your family?"

"You are our family. What I'm asking is if you want to be a vampire, to live with us for eternity? You know you can't have children after you're changed. Think about it, Bella, because there's no going back."

She knew that. She wanted that but she wanted more. She wanted him. In theory - if things had been different; in a different time -the children would have been nice. She hadn't given much thought about children, she never cared much for them, but the idea of part of her and him together... It was like the smell of chocolate, tempting, but he was more important than that. If being with him meant no children, then she would conform. She wanted him more than anything. Was he asking that too?

"You don't have to decide now," he misread her fright. "If it's not what you want, we'll respect that."

***

_I'll make Emmett respect it,_ he thought quietly as the array of emotions fighting inside of her interrupted his speech. He waited on edge. She loved him, but did she love him enough to be with him forever? There was no turning back, once the venom surged through her veins, she was his, he was hers.

Then, her fingertips trailed heat over his hand. She flipped it over and slid her fingers through his. Idyllic, they connected, as if their hands were designed to hold each other's.

"I want you."

He was punched with love in that resolution. It streamed from her freely, unhindered by worries or shyness. That lasted a mere second, his silence injecting a panic.

Slowly he reached and caressed her flaming cheek. He stole her watery gaze. "Say that one more time?"

"I want you." Her uneven breath blew across his cheek, her pulse quickening, a thundering in his ears.

"I love you." He released his joy, the inexpressible, he let her feel all of it half of her heartbeat before he took her lips and drowned in Jasmine. They burned on his own, but _her_ - everything about her, everything that emanated from her made her heaven. He was right, she was worth it.

She was his life, his world, his reason. She was his. He pulled her closer, clasping her hip, a constant reminder that she was breakable, but in a corner he imagined when she wouldn't be. They could be equal and he'd never have to fret about hurting her or losing her. She would always be his.

Droplets of rain pattered down, but they were immersed in each other. The rain could be put on hold.

He strained in his jeans and he kissed harder, grateful for coming up with the idea of plugging his nose with Vaseline. He could still smell her if he dared to breathe, but it was dulled and it worked. Whatever kept him human enough to be near her.

Jasper reminded himself to be easy, and he licked her lips, carefully tracing them. He wound her strands over his fingers, pulling her to him. There wasn't a cry and he felt nothing but lust and love. He assumed that he was being gentle enough, the need that grew in her told him so.

Running his lips to her lobe he asked her, "what else do you want?"

"You," she gasped, gripping his soaked shirt. "Only you."

Jasper observed the glittering diamonds that clung to her dark lashes, how her clothes formed to her figure, outlining her bra. Cravings poured off of her and he coupled with hers, it was pushing him to his limit. He had to have her. Right then and there.

"I need you," he whispered huskily.

"I need you too."

He groaned and ripped his shirt over his head. He held her sides and kissed her stomach up to her chest under her breasts. Together they removed her top, and being a step ahead of him she undid her jeans and rid of them too. He snatched the hems and ripped them the rest of the way off.

There was a sloshing of the mud as her head fell back. He devoured her delicious wet skin, tasting her legs, flicking his tongue behind her knee, kissing the soaked material over her core that was meant exclusively for him. He moved it over and licked her nub, sliding one finger inside, then two, sawing them in and out, her juices coating him. She tasted sweet and he swore then that he was drinking the juices of heaven itself.

Her hips rose to meet him, but suddenly, with a great deal of effort, she stopped. She rose as he was forced to slip out of her, but she lightly ran her nails along his length and all else was forgotten. He growled in ecstasy, but she didn't seem to hear. She bent with flexibility he didn't know she had and took the head in her mouth, her burning mouth. He didn't trust to touch her as he feared that in such bliss he would hurt her.

She rubbed her tongue down his shaft raking her nails over his balls. When she used her teeth he nearly reached his breaking point. With more effort than she had possessed, he extracted himself fro her and gently nudged her to her back. He ripped off her underwear and marveled her.

***

Angel. He was an angel. Jasper knelt between her legs, the rain streaking down his smooth and sculpted chest and stomach, his hair dripping past his lit and hazed eyes. Feather light touches sent electrical currents through her, it eliminated her modesty and fueled her need, and she could feel the accumulating wetness. He was her angel and she needed him more than he needed the deer he drunk.

Bella lifted herself on her elbows and seized the belt above his bulge jerking him forward. She kissed his bottom rib and slid the belt out of its loops, unzipping him. By her shoulders he pushed her back onto the grass and mud while he shoved them and his boxers to his knees His manhood stood thickly and long, fully ready. It was lovely, like the rest of him, and if it was possibly she desired him more.

It occurred to her that they were in a public place, albeit alone. It mattered little anyway, as long as she had him. the yearning curled in her gut and throbbed like it was alive. It was going to eat her whole.

He laid over her. "You're mine. You do understand that, don't you, Bella? After this, there is only us. You not only have my heart, but every part of me, all of me. I'll have all of you too. Tell me you understand this."

"You're the one I want." It was fact, there never had and never would be anyone else, he filled her vision, he was printed on her lids.

He held her head and steeled her with his piercing gaze. Her lust rose by his power, she was dripping and not by the rain. He kissed her lips one last time and thrust inside of her to the hilt, in one go. Her hymen broke, but she felt nothing but him, every inch, and she knew it was by his doing.

She met his gradual rocks as his hands found purchase beside her head, digging into the earth. He rumbled and hissed, pushing faster and harder, hitting a spot in her that sent her high into the rolling clouds that continued to pelt them with rain. She wrapped her slippery legs around him, pushing him deeper, _needing_ him deeper. Him being inside of her wasn't enough, she needed everything, and she was pressed against him, feeling the slickness of the rain and them.

It mounted, building. She bit her lip from crying out, though she wasn't sure why. Nails dug and scratched his skin. It would have made anyone else (that was human), bleed, but it did nothing. It spurred him on, and she couldn't get close enough, she couldn't get enough of him. It would never be enough...

One more thrust and she was sent over, and soon he was too, spilling himself into her. They both shook as they came, falling like the rain. It was then that her mind focused on how cold she was, her breath quick puffs in the air between them, and she shivered.

Jasper pulled out, breathing in her scent. He pulled up his boxers and jeans and was gone for a second. He returned with a wood blanket she guessed must have came from the side pouch of the bike. He wrapped it around her, tucking the ends in, and lifted her in his arms.

"I love you, Jasper."

He kissed her forehead and in turn her lips. "Lets go home, darling."

They left her clothes as an offering to the ground. It was just as well. They were ripped beyond repair.

His cell vibrated against her dangling foot then. She wanted to tell him to answer, but she fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Beaten and Broken

Jasper stared at the number until the back light of his phone switched off. Alice and Emmett sat next to him against the wall across from the drawn curtains surrounding Bella's bed. Alice aided in dressing her in dry boxers, a camisole and helped her into bed. The poor girl drifted right off to sleep.

He wanted to lie with her, but the number that flashed left that to be waited for. He had to talk with his siblings. In whispers not even dogs could hear, they discussed the problem. Problem was what Alice would call it, he thought of it more as a disaster.

"He's coming back," Alice foresaw, her eyes losing their glaze. She smiled sardonically at being able to see someone's decision again. "Carlisle informed him of what happened."

Emmett grunted, "when is he coming?"

"Today."

"This is wonderful, just what we need."

Jasper had never seen Emmett as frustrated as he was then, but wasn't surprised. Bella was as good as his little sister. When Edward arrived there was no telling what would happen, and his plane left in two hours.

"What does he know," he asked.

"Not about you and Bella. Carlisle was very careful about not thinking _that_."

Emmett groaned. "Can't believe this is happening... Stupid bloodsucker."

Alice shook her head. "When did you become a dog?"

"It would be better than killing my brother right now..."

"No one is going to kill anyone, especially not you. You have to leave, the plane is taking off in a few hours."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Rose will not be happy about that."

"Then let her be unhappy," he snapped and flinched as if the idea caused him pain.

Jasper understood, letting Rose be unhappy was not only against his moral being, but it also made his life hell. Rose would be sure of it.

He sighed and flicked Alice's ear playfully. "Can you handle things here, shorty? She won't understand why I want to stay." Resentment came off of him in waves.

She nodded. "If anyone is a match for Edward, it's Jasper and I. We can deal with him if things get out of control."

"Don't curse it... Take care of her?"

"Always."

He sighed and jumped lithely to his feet. "It's different, protecting her from us instead of some sadistic vampire. We should've changed her."

"Edward didn't want -"

"I meant now!"

"There wasn't enough time, Em, and we don't know how it would've effected her memory, it could be dangerous."

"If we lose her again because of Edward, I'll never forgive him." He crept closer to the curtain, as if getting closer to an idea. "I'll kill him if he hurts her again. I swear I will..." There was contemplation, worry, and brotherly love emitting from him. The hunger that they all felt and was fighting.

Jasper growled warningly and he froze.

"I'm sorry, bro. Kiss her goodbye and make her blush for me." He pecked Alice's cheek and smacked Jasper's shoulder. "I'm betting five thousand that she'll choose you," he said quickly, seizing his suitcase and leaving. It was almost like if he stayed a moment longer he would go through with his obvious and inane idea.

Alice nudged him. "I'm betting ten."

"For once, little sister, I'm not betting." There was good reason. The threat of her leaving was real. He thought he had more time, and therefore hadn't thought about it as much as he would have. That was foolish. Her choice was going to be revealed, and his indestructible life was held in her fragile and small hands.

"I'm going to hunt," she announced flitting up.

He jerked his head in thanks, standing and approaching the curtain as she closed the door. He pulled it back, the rings giving a high pitched whine, and revealed Bella curled in a ball under her thick blanket.

He did not hesitate, he climbed in, pressing his lips to the back of her bare neck. A million differently cut images raced through his mind, all of her, all of her happy or in the throes of their orgasm.

He was hers, they established that, and he would keep her as long as he could. Even if it meant that he would lose her that day. Not a second would be wasted of their time, slumber or not.

Caressing her hip the hem of her shirt slid up. There was a small patch of translucent skin. She was as delicate as a china doll, and like juggling with ten of them, he ran his fingers along her skin, bumps appearing like bread crumbs.

"Jasper," she exhaled in a mutter.

"I'm here, darling. I'm never going to leave you."

She moaned in response.

***

_In blurs Jasper and Emmett fought. Thunder clapped in the distance, the sound similar to the crashing boulders that occurred when they collided together. In four seconds Jasper pinned his brother down, his forearm at his throat, grinning like a cat with a tail out of its mouth._

_ "You're euphoric, Bella. Are you liking this?"_

_ She laughed, rough in comparison to that of a vampire's. "I love it, Jasper!"_

_ Emmett glared knocking him off. "You're a traitor, Bella! You should be rooting for me."_

_ "Why wouldn't I root for him? Jasper doesn't make fun of me."_

_ "It will get worse if you don't."_

_ She didn't have time to retort, for that moment Jasper pounced and knocked him cleanly to the ground. If cleanly meant that it erupted like the destruction of a mountain._

_ Bella sat outside by the back door. She watched them in amazement and joy. Their laughter was robust and it filled her. When the bronze boy wasn't with her, she could bask in the sense of belonging . They were her family and one day it would be official, whether that boy approved, it didn't matter. All that mattered is that the rest of them wanted her. That _he_ wanted her._

_ In a last clap the black clouds released its tears, but the boys didn't stop. Emmett demanded the sixth rematch._

_ "Come in, you'll catch a cold."_

_ She looked up, shielding her eyes, the nameless boy at her side. It was clear, he wasn't going to take no for an answer. She'd seen that exact look on her face when he told her he didn't want her for eternity. Her humanity was too precious and it made her sick. Was being human her only good quality?_

_ "I want to watch," she said._

_ "Bella, you've _been_ watching. Emmett won't win, he never has and never will. Come."_

_ She searched for his name to rebuke him. It was there, right on the tip of her tongue. "No," she settled, but uncharacteristically he jerked her off the ground. A sharp pain snapped her. Her arm broke and she cried out._

_ No one heard. They had super-hearing, but no one came to her rescue. Everything became black, they all left. She was alone with this monster. His eyes darkening from their gold to blood red. That's what it was, it was blood of victims, the life he sucked out of her when he did whatever it was that he did. He was a monster for his actions._

_ "Let me go," she cried trying to twist, only making the infliction worse. She couldn't get away. He was there, he would forever be there. Like her arm, if she broke the tie, she broke a piece of herself. Why wouldn't he let her go? "Please!"_

_ "Never," he snarled._

_ Breaking. Broken._

She gasped, her eyes flying open. There was darkness, her drapes shut from the parking lot lamps. They hung limply, the window closed. For an inscrutable reason she wanted it open as if she was safe with it so. She felt her right arm, but it was in one piece, not harm in the slightest, and large doses of reality came floating back, replacing whatever nightmare there was.

She twisted, wanting to see Jasper, to be certain he was there. She could feel the cold, but the fear that it would be that monster frightened her. She knew if Jasper was there, he would feel it, and if he felt it, he was beside her.

She sighed when she saw him, happiness replacing every foolish emotion that was there before. She was safe, he was there, and everything was okay.

He peered at her quizzically, sweeping a trendle from her forehead. It was as light as wiping spider webs from ones arm. She barely felt it. "What was it about?"

"I don't remember," she admitted honestly.

"Sleep, darling. Dream of me."

Resting her head on his chest, she did just that.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

His Angel

She was an angel. His. She lied in his arms fast asleep, the baby blue of the day streaming through the window, lighting the chocolate of her splayed hair. Puffs of her breath played on his chest, lighter than anything he could feel. He wished she knew how beautiful she was at that moment, how she looked to him. She was everything, brighter and more magnificent than the sun.

Such beauty deserved breakfast, properly delivered to her in bed. Cautious not to wake her, Jasper slid her off his chest and onto the pillow he lied on. It was almost as cold as him, though not near as hard, it would have to do.

He hadn't cooked since 1833 and a lot had changed. For instance the introduction of electricity. He was suddenly kicking himself for not paying more attention to the dog. It couldn't have been that different, but fifteen blackened pancakes, eighteen fiery eggs, and a pile of ashes that were the last potholder, he realized that it _was_ that different. He flung open the only window and ran back to wash the spots off the foolishly painted white stove. He was careful in his work, not to break the damned thing. Normally, it would've been easier to buy a new kitchen, but he knew how she felt about money, and frankly, growing up poor in his human life, he could empathize (truly).

Bella coughed, and shamefully he kept his head down as he heard the light creaking of the springs of her bed, her footsteps, then her laughter. He looked up expectantly to see her holding onto the counter for her support during her fit. He threw the rag to the corner by what was the melted clock and crossed his arms over his chest waiting out the hilarity.

"Jasper," she gasped, "what... Did... You... Do?"

He felt only amusement from her and so he felt like teasing too. "Your smoke alarm doesn't work. It's a hazard."

"No, _you_ are a hazard."

"I wanted to cook you breakfast."

Adoration flooded him at her words, "thanks for trying, but next time, order out."

He circled his arms around her waist and swept her off her feet. Like he swallowed a white hot iron, his throat flared. For brief, meaningless seconds, he thought of what it would be like, what she would taste like , how smooth her blood would go down.

"Jasper," she shook with fear, and he realized then that he was letting his emotions slip. It was him that was afraid, not her. He reeled it in quickly, composing his earlier happier position.

"Sorry," he apologized stepping out of her soft and warm hold.

"It's okay, I -"

"Don't begin to blame yourself for what I am," he snapped snatching up the rag but he threw it back down. He would buy a new kitchen, there was no fixing what he destroyed...

In that idea, he was turned to her. He thought of her with bright golden eyes, paler skin, tougher skin...

"What is it," she asked, concerned.

"Are you sure, Bella? Do you truly want to be one of us?"

"I want to be with you. Forever."

He saw the glimmer of truth in her eyes, and he smiled, his trepidation gone. It was amazing how simply she was able to put him at ease, as though she had his power. With the utmost gentleness, he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, and kissed her lips. Heaven, and it was about to end.

Alice and Edward's voice drew closer to the door. He was running out of time...

"Listen, darling. I didn't have the chance to tell you, but my brother is visiting." If he had a working heart, it would've been beating out of his chest.

"But Emmett -"

"Went home to his wife. Sorry, he didn't get to say goodbye, she booked the flight and he had no choice." He grimaced at Alice's cheery tone, wondering what Edward had or was seeing in her mind. "This is my other brother."

Bella scrutinized him suspiciously if not a little worriedly. "You never mentioned another brother."

He was a jerk. He should have mentioned him before, but no, him and Jacob were careful about it. For Jacob's new start with her and for Jasper's place in her heart, they did no better than lie to her. She deserved much better than him, and not in regards to what he was, but for what he had done to her. He used her amnesia against her, and he never felt more wretched.

"Bella, you -" the door jiggled and opened. They turned, Alice and Edward strolling in, Edward's bright gold eyes falling laggardly on his girlfriend.

It happened in half of a second. An onslaught of love, horror, vexation, and heartbreak pummeled him. Beside him, she screamed and collapsed. He caught her before she crumpled to the ground, her head lolling back. He felt nothing from her, just like the day of her car accident...

"Bella?! Bella!"

***

The ruffled bronze hair, the amber orbs set in bloodless features, his crooked smile. The wall that held every precious memory of the last two years broke. The pieces flew everywhere, cutting her maliciously, cutting her deeply. The memories of them, hugging, kissing, fighting, every little thing, every second she spent with him was replayed in rapid succession. Edward Cullen, that was his name. He was the love of her life, her world... And he left her.

_ "Bella, I don't want you to come with me... Of course, I'll always love you... In a way... I'm... Tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella... I'm not human... You're not good for me, Bella... I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me... I won't come back... It will be as if I'd never existed..."_

As if he never existed! As if her world would not crumble, as if something else would have stopped her decent into the darkness. He was her everything, and he was gone. He didn't care if he destroyed her. He destroyed her, and he walked away! He left her in those woods to be found by Sam! Nothing would ever change what he did, because he had to end her and kick her aside as if she meant nothing.

She screamed for it to cease, the memories flashing, all before her eyes. She was not certain if the yell was even escaping her mouth but it scratched her throat and it was appropriate, she felt as though her insides were being ripped out. Her last thought before the darkness overtook her was worry for Jasper. Her pain must have been killing him like nothing else would. Not wooden stakes or holy water, not anything, because for the first time she knew how much she meant to him, she knew that she was everything to him. All she wanted to do was protect him like he wanted to do for her. She wanted him in safety and happiness.

She did love him, very much, but she found in that mere second, that she was happier without her memory...

***

"What did you do?! What did you do to her?! Answer me, Jasper!"

Jasper ignored Edward's yelling as he lowered Bella onto the floor, her face twisted in agony. There was only void coming from her, but he was soaked in fright, not only from himself, but from Edward. He withheld it sending the littlest bit of calm he had, his teeth gnashing against the effort.

He pushed back her hair back, allowing his hands to trail her cheeks in attempt to soothe her. He could only imagine what she was dreaming, what she was going through. There was nothing for him to do but to wait, and try to avoid the execution that Edward would put in action.

Sure enough, Alice leapt in front of their brother as he made a move towards them. He was prepared, but it was instinctively that Jasper shielded Bella, crouched before her body, a deep snarl rattling from behind his teeth. All thought and reason were gone, pure solider and vampire defense in its place. He would _kill _if he had to, but he wasn't about to let him anywhere near her.

"What did you do to her, Jasper?"

"He did nothing, Edward," Alice yelled at him, her hands on his chest, holding him back. Scuffs were being made on the floor from his shoes, creaking and cracking of the floorboards begging to give in.

The pressure was too much, even the emotional beating that Jasper was receiving. It fed that vampire soldier, and he tensed, bowing forward in position to strike.

"Please, both of you! This won't help her. She's remembering. She needs time to process it."

Edward loosened his stance at Alice's comment, but Jasper didn't relinquish his. He wasn't taking a chance, especially when Bella was vulnerable. He would never gamble her.

"She'll come to in thirty seconds."

"I thought you couldn't see," Edward said in an accusatory tone, that he by right did not give to many women.

"Not when Jacob was living here, I couldn't. When he left he wasn't sure when he'd come back, that uncertainty cleared things up." She looked to Jasper. "I'm sorry I lied, but it was necessary. It had to go this way. It was the best way."

He was barely listening. As her and Edward talked in fast whispers he sat on his knees and held Bella's hand. He didn't care if they could see him. Edward was always seeing into their minds, and very soon, he would know everything, so Jasper focused on their hands, listening to the wet thump of her heart beat. He counted the seconds down. The fear he felt at what her reaction would be was at the back of his mind. He would deal with whatever was to come, but right then, he had to be there for her.

Their conversation died at Edward's prodding. He walked past her and knelt beside him. Edward clearly swallowed his growl as he leaned forward, clearly hoping that it would be him that Bella would first see. Jasper wouldn't fight him, not then, it wasn't about him. It was about her. His angel.

Three... Two... One... Her eyes opened, searching then peering right at him.

Disappointment and hurt was only a sting from Edward, Jasper's joy being beyond it. He squeezed her hand lightly, secretively, and she smiled. His world, shrouded in dark for a short while was lit again.

"I'm here," he said, "I'll never let you go."

***

The blurry lines, colors, and facets above her cleared. She saw Jasper, and she could read the worry, the fear, as if they were words written on his face. She reached up and cupped his cheek, running her thumb below his left eye. No matter how many times she looked at his face, she would never be able to catch the breath he took from her. He insisted there were scars she couldn't see, but she would never care. He would always be beautiful to her. No amount of scars or deformations would change her mind about that.

Slowly she tore from him to look to the second pair of identical eyes. "Edward" she groaned, her voice cracking with the name she hadn't spoken in nearly two long years. Tears began spilling, unchecked.

It was wrong, misplaced, to have mourned for him for so long, to have him back, and feel nothing. She didn't, she felt nothing. There wasn't the emptiness that she had lived with. Jasper had healed that. How ironic, that the undead brought her to life. It was true.

"I'm sorry," she wept, not sure what she was sorry for.

He stroked her cheek, but it didn't bring any of the ease that Jasper had, while Jasper stroked a fire, his touch was cold, the way it should have been at the start. "You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. I'm the one who should be apologizing. If I never -"

"Don't."

He snapped his mouth closed, a flicker of surprise before he pulled on that dreaded mask. She hated that cover, as if she was not worthy enough to see what he was truly feeling. It was insulting.

Bella felt Jasper's hand in hers, his long fingers curling. She squeezed and he gave her solace, right when things came to a screeching halt. Her world, her friendships, it all stopped when Edward turned her face to him, stealing her attention. She squeezed Jasper's hand a second time, to know that even if she couldn't see him, that he was there.

"Listen, I wanted to say this for two years. Please, listen and know that I love you, Bella. I should have never left, I realized it soon enough. I feared that there would not be a place for me, but I should have tried. You're everything to me. Please, I ask for your forgiveness. I beg for you to take me back. Tell me if I'm too late. I'll understand that."

Tears leaked into her hair. He could never understand, and he wouldn't, not when he found out she was in love with his brother. She did the ultimate betrayal, and worse was that she forgot him while she did it. He could never forgive her, and that was the one thing she wanted from him - the only thing. She wanted his forgiveness. She didn't want the family to be torn apart because she fell in love with someone else.

It was a good thing, that her mind was the single one that Edward couldn't read. He never could understand her as completely as he would have liked and though she was grateful for it and at the same time infuriated, it was nice that he couldn't see the only face she could, which was his brothers.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Choices

Outside in the woods he tagged as his, Jasper and Alice gave Edward and Bella their privacy. It was not a situation he welcomed, but when Alice pinched his arm he had to leave. He wouldn't conduct or control Bella by being a reminder of who she had given herself to. She had to talk with him, and Alice assured Jasper that she would be okay.

When they sat under the very tree that Emmett convinced him to go after her, he called Carlisle. It was to be certain of the conditions of her treatment, and if she should be taken to a hospital. Carlisle told him that she sounded just fine, but he promised that he would take time off work to fly over and check her himself.

Although shamefully what was at the forefront of his mind was the verdict of Jasper's happiness and life that was being decided. Worse yet, he wasn't even there to hear it first hand.

As frightening as it was, there was no question in his mind that it was her happiness, her choices that mattered more, and always would. However, it couldn't be helped that he would contemplate the bleakness of his future without her. There would be nothing left for him. If she went with Edward, he had two choices, and he didn't like the idea of either, because both meant being without her.

Jasper was never the one to want the future like Alice did. He liked not knowing the little unimportant details of the day. However, if he could have her uncontrollable gift, if only for a mere minute, he wished to know, to _see _it. If he didn't like it, he could get on his bike and travel to wherever his desire lay in that moment, anywhere but with her.

That was impossible. There was no place that was better without her. There would never be. Without her... It was an unending agonizing pain.

Leaning his head against the tree he thought of their first and only date. He recalled it with perfect clarity. It was a disgrace that as a vampire, she wouldn't remember it as well as he, but he could recreate it for her, and it would be any better, for she would have the same sensations as him, and her blood would not be tempting him. They would be equal, the way they should be.

That was one thing that Jasper could not relate to Edward on. When he thought of his first love and their babies graves, he couldn't imagine wanting anything other than another chance for them, for himself. Wasn't one lifetime insufficient? Jasper wanted many with her, he wanted an eternity with her, because she was all he wanted. If he had a choice, it would certainly be to be human with her, but the point was, as long as they were together, he ultimately didn't care.

"Everything will work out," Alice told him.

For who? Was anything meant to "work out" when a multitude of things held in the balance? He didn't say any of that, but Alice didn't have to hear to know.

"You're foolish for doubting her. I'm going to Edward. Wait here for Bella. I'll send her out."

As she pranced away he saw her smile, between the strands of her black hair as it flew back in the breeze. She began skipping as her feet met the pavement.

She was right. Everything would be okay. He never doubted her, he wouldn't start then.

***

"I'll do anything to make this up to you," he promised. "I'll beg, if you like."

Bella shook her head, gripping the edge of the mattress she sat on. "Edward..." She didn't know how to tell him. She inadvertently fell in love with his brother, and there was nothing that could change that.

She remembered everything before she fell, everything when she woke up. She remembered their moments together in their meadow, baseball with his family, James, classes, and late night talking. Her pain was just as clear, the hole he left in her. She was a zombie, the living dead, worse than those she loved. She was never really living, just... Existing.

When Jasper showed up, all of that changed. He made her _feel_, he ignited the embers and for the first time in two years, she was alive. She never gave much thought about fate, but she could believe that it all happened so she would be led to him. He was everything to her, he was more than her world, he was her universe.

Edward moved to his knees in front of her, seizing her hands. Where there used to be a spark there was only ice. "Bella, I swear to you, I will never leave again, unless you require it. I will never let any harm come to you. You have my word, if that means anything now."

She believed him, but it was too late. "Edward... I'm sorry -"

"Sorry? Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who left, and I will take responsibility for that. The punishment you seek for me is what I'll take. I will spend however long it takes to prove my loyalty to you."

"I know how you feel..." She did, but she would not trade it for anything. She was glad to know that it had been real, that fate hadn't been cruel enough to use him so heartlessly, but there he knelt, like a man worshiping at the foot of a beloved goddess.

Alice barged in then, the door flying out behind her. She looked to be on a warpath, and everything then happened so fast. Bella blinked as Edward's hands were suddenly out of hers, and he looked to be in immense pain, such that was saved for torture victims in ancient mechanisms. There were documentaries about it, and wax statues made of it. He curled on the floor, fetal and vulnerable.

"Edward!" She dropped in front of him, cradling his head, knowing not what else to do. "Alice? What are you doing?"

"It was better this way, Bella. Trust me."

"What are you talking about?!" Why was she just standing there?! Why wasn't anyone helping him?! Suddenly, his head jerked from her roughly making her fall, her back hitting her bed.

Alice sat next to him and he inclined into her, his face in the crook of her neck. She raked her fingers through his hair as his clawed at her back, bringing her closer to him.

Shocked, she stared at the scene. She didn't understand what had occurred until she said, "I had to show him. He had to know.

She held her brother and lastly declared, "Jasper's waiting outside. It was best this way. It was."

Bella could only nod, though she wasn't sure if she was agreeing. Numbly, she left, leaving the door ajar, not looking back at the horrid view that would stay in her memory. Whether or not that it was Alice's decision, her thoughts that caused him hurt, it was in the end, her actions. She was the one who did that to him, she hurt him, hurt his family, and the guilt could drown her in sorrow, but there was Jasper, outside as Alice had promised.

Twilight fell behind him, creating a disjointed halo that clung to his lean and covered figure. The hood of his jacket was up, his black leather gloves on. Not a speck of light was touching his skin.

Before she had even realized she was running she was crashing into him, and he caught her as he always had and would. When she caught her breath she said shakily, "I love you, Jasper."

He kissed her hair, sighing, cooling her strands. "I love you too, Bella."

"What will happen now?" She tried not to think of Edward and Alice, the trouble she had caused. She was a curse upon their peaceful family.

"We start our future. Don't worry, darling, please, it will work out, I promise. Don't feel bad."

"I caused a lot of trouble."

"No."

She smiled at the simple denial, but instantly felt him tense. She moved out of his embrace, gazing up at him. "What's wrong?"

A low growl rumbled out of him. "Get on the bike, okay, darling? Stay there."

"But -" He was gone, in a flash she was facing the parking lot, filling up after work hours. She did as he told, scooting herself up on the warm leather seat. She waited, keeping herself from going after him by acknowledging that she didn't know where he had gone.

She propped herself against the handlebar in a bored position. However, it moved from underneath her and with the grace only she possessed, she fell backwards onto the hard ground, similar to when she ran into Jasper. Her elbow and back protested painfully and quickly she checked herself for cuts, but there were none, only scruff skin. She instead stayed on the ground on the sidewalk where it was undeniably safer.

***

It was a rustling movement of discarding clothes and heavy breathing. Any vampire living with Emmett and Rosalie would recognize the sound immediately – as would most wild of adults.

It couldn't have been true but his hearing - better than a thousand dogs - could not be denied. He knew what he heard and there had to be an explanation, but there couldn't have been, it was not possible. It wouldn't make sense, not from _them._

Jasper stormed inside the apartment restraining every ounce of anger. His gift wasn't meant to be used that way, he wouldn't degrade himself by doing so. Yet, his release was poured into the door that splintered and broke. It hung, dangling on the top brass hinge. He didn't care, no, not when the picture in front of him was more real to him than what he _heard_.

Alice sat on Edward, straddling his hips on _Bella's_ floor. By _Bella's _bed. Her shirt was off, thrown over _Bella's _desk, and Edward's jeans were undone, her hands covering the appendage that had only moments before lusted for _Bella._

Alice shook her head wildly, begging with her eyes for understanding. There was desperation dripping off of her, but the meaning was loss, and he was glad. It was too late for sympathy. Never in his long existence had he ever felt disgusted with someone as he did then. That went especially for his sister. His sweet sister...

"Jasper," she pleaded softly, but again, it was too late, he was out the door.

He knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to call Jacob, that mutt was going to go with them. He would decide later where they were going to go, once Jacob was with them to hide their decision, their future.

Bella sat on the ground against his bike. He didn't have to ask to undoubtedly know that she had fallen. He would've chuckled if he hadn't witnessed what he did.

She stood as he approached containing his fury from her. He would have to tell her, but then wasn't the time. Later, when he could think clearer, when he wouldn't have the risk of losing his temper.

He climbed on, offering his hand to help. She accepted, sitting behind him, and his anger, in its safety box flared. How could Alice do it? How could Edward? She had been through enough and they were pouring salt into her wounds.

"Where are we going?"

Handing her the helmet, he said, "I don't know, but hold on."

Once her arms were secured around his waist he jumped, revved, and sped off. As he swerved through traffic he paid attention to the twisting that was taking place inside of him. There was something off about Alice, aside from the despairing and need for comprehension, he knew not of what.

His number one priority was the girl on his back. He'd sort his dear siblings out later.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Another Hotel

At a rest stop Jasper sent Bella in to care for her human needs. He took that opportunity to call Jacob. When he flipped open his cell he saw twenty-three missed messages totaled from Edward and Alice. He deleted the notification, the texts, and voice-mails. It was about him and Bella, and she finally got back her memory. They hadn't even celebrated...

"Hello?"

"Jacob, we're on our way."

"Who is this," he yawned.

"Wake up, mutt, it's Jasper. I have Bella with me. We're coming to get you. It's a long story, but we need you." He flinched as he made that statement. A million bite marks from newborn vampires couldn't compare to losing pride to call a mortal enemy for help.

"Is Bella okay?"

"She's fine. Alice can't see you and we need that."

"What's going on?"

He heard Bella's "excuse me" to an elderly man across the lot. "I"ll explain later," Jasper said. "We'll be there in a few hours." He clicked the red button disconnecting the call, listening for her.

Sweeping the stray mulch off the concrete enclosure of the flower bed, Bella hopped up on it. She leaned on his shoulder crossing her legs, and sorted out the thoughts she wanted to voice. He waited patiently.

"Something is going on. Where are we going? Where's Alice and Edward?"

"They're at your apartment."

"Jasper," she pleaded. "What don't I know?"

It was hard to deny her, most notably when she pleaded the way she was doing. Her voice was soft, a breath, a reminder he didn't require of how breakable she was. There was nothing he could tell her then, because as he peered down into her eyes he knew she could handle it, but it was him that he held doubts about. He had a temper, he could not deny that.

It was not solely about the betrayal of Bella. Edward and Alice betrayed him too. His own sister, his own brother. They told him nothing of their relations.

If he was to be honest wit himself, Jasper wouldn't have believed it even if they had told him. It didn't make sense. When a vampire fell in love, it was permanent as their non-lives. If Edward truly loved Bella there was not a chance that he would move on that quickly. It was unlikely that he would ever.

"When we settle, I'll tell you."

"Why not now?"

"Privacy." He glanced pointedly about the tourist, a small child running past them clinging a quilted hand-made doll to her chest. He couldn't discuss what he _saw_, no matter if anyone was paying notice.

He thought of Edward and Alice's position, what _almost _happened, or was happening then as they spoke. Throughout his years with them they never showed any sign of being interested in one another, they simply were friends, siblings, like the rest of them. He contemplated, did he ever know them? What else were they capable of?

She touched his arm, hope and tranquility trailing in their ghost. He kissed her cheek and lifted her off and down from her seat. He kept his head low as the last rays of sunlight cast across her face. He saw her in his minds eye, sparkling, eyes of the sun, but she was lovely as she was, not sparkling and with her dark eyes. She was perfect.

"I love you, Bella." It was weak, inadequate. There were not any words or paintings that could depict how cherished she was. How much she meant to him. She was everything. How he ever lived without her was a mystery.

Unexpectedly she kissed his jacket, the material over the still heart that belonged to her. She laced their fingers and took the lead to walking back to the bike.

"I trust you," she said simply. "What's your plan?"

"It's a surprise." What would be the surprise was if Edward and Alice didn't meet them on the way to La Push. They wouldn't see Jacob's future, but Alice saw Jasper's the moment he decided to make that call. They knew they were headed to the reservation. If they hurried they could escape the prosecution. The excuses.

***

Night fell, and though Bella dozed her arms remained as tight as ever around Jasper's torso. The last sign that they passed proved her theory was correct. He was taking them home to Forks.

His plan was secret, but she trusted him with every fiber of her being. Whatever it was he wasn't ready to tell her, she'd wait. He wasn't Edward, he wouldn't keep anything from her, no matter the reason. It was probably for the best. If he told and rashly decided to do something... It was best that there was more distance, because the knot that twisted her stomach told her that it had something to do with Edward and Alice.

She straightened up, resting her chin on his shoulder. They were on a winding steep road coasting down it, the sharp light and roaring engine cutting through the quiet. Ahead, at the bottom was a block shadow. Detail became lucid as they drew closer and slowed, and she saw that it was Jacob's Rabbit, Jacob on the hood, one leg to his chest while the other dangled over the fender.

Jasper stopped the bike pulling the key out, the dead noise echoing in her ears. "Good, you saved us a trip."

"I want answers," he ordered bounding from the car to stand a good foot away.

"Not now. There's a hotel eleven miles from here where I can explicate."

"Tell me this, is Bella in any danger?"

"No, I assure you of that."

She realized that her eyes had slipped closed. She tried to open them, but they were too heavy, like leads. She mumbled, "I'm awake," but it was incoherent, and too soft even for the vampire and werewolf to hear. Sure, that was an overstatement, but she didn't care.

"Will you take her? She'll sleep better in the back of your car and I won't have to worry that she'll fall."

"Sure, sure."

She felt hot hands grab her, removing her from the bike. Her attempt to hold onto Jasper was pathetic but everything was a passing thought. Once the seat-belt clicked over her she had lost the fight, and she knew that it was Jasper's gift that was the cause.

***

It was a small hotel, but it served its purpose. Jasper paid for a dark flowery one-bedroom for three days and carried her to the second floor. He covered her in the dark scratchy sheets. He despised making her tired, but she did need the sleep. It was too long of a day, and he knew her mind. It needed rest in order to process it all properly.

After refusing to explain anything until Bella woke, Jacob flipped channels. In less than five minutes however, his mouth was hanging open, a thin slimmer of drool marking his chin. It was disgusting, but he sat still for the next eight hours listening to his train-rattling snore.

Jasper recalled when he watched Bella with Alice, that fateful time that James was tracking her. At least then it had been quieter, but equally so it had been more tempting. Jacob once more came in handy with his sickening stench. He could hardly think of the sweet blood when he was being tortured. No amount of air fresher would amend it, not that they ever did a good job. Air fresher was a contradictory term for all it did was set a dizzying aroma in the room.

When a "miracle-working" shower-head commercial appeared he dialed for room service. It didn't come with the hotel but a near endless supply of money went a long way. The woman that assisted him with the reservations downstairs brought up a makeshift plate of bread and cheese. He eyed it worriedly. He wasn't sure that it was enough but if it wasn't he could always send out the dog to get something more and possibly better.

"Do you need anything else, sir?" The young blond batted her lashes, but Jasper tipped her a fifty, and while she regained her composure he shut the door and set the tray on the coffee table.

Jacob snorted, grunted and jerked awake. He smacked his dry lips and rubbed his face. "Bella?"

He heard the small stirrings in the next room, just in time. "She's waking up."

As his hand reached out for a piece of bread Jasper roughly kicked his wrist. There was a snapping but Jacob who bit back his complaint set it quickly to heal.

"Those are for Bella. Paws off, mutt."

"What am I going to eat?!"

"There's a trash bin outside for strays."

"What got stuck in your fangs, leech?"

Bella tiredly stumbled into the room, wisps of hair sticking out at odd ends. She was beautiful, as always.

Jasper sat beside her on the floor at her legs, and moved the plate towards her. She instantly made her sandwich and began eating.

"I'll order more if you find yourself hungry after."

She shook her head. "No -"

"Can you explain _now_," Jacob intervened, impatient and rude.

He glimpsed nervously to Bella. "Edward and Alice were in a compromising position..."

Dawning increased in her as she grasped the meaning, then confusion, her brows pulling together. "And?"

He did not want elaborate, but the image was burned into his mind, everything was, including every breath and beat she took. "Bella, I caught Alice on top of him, they were..." He trailed off hoping she caught on but he saw the waiting expression, her waiting for the bad news as though that was not it. "They were about to have sex." Blankness. "Do you not care?"

She winced. "It wasn't in my bed, was it?"

He was confounded by that question of all the questions to ask. "It was on the floor."

She smiled, relieved. "I don't care. If Alice can make him happy then I'm happy for them." She pecked his cheek. "I love _you_, Jasper. I want the family to stay intact and if it's this way, then that's fine. It's great, actually."

Cutting through his slight alleviation Jacob rolled his eyes and stood. "You got me up for this?I'm going to get something to eat." With that, he left, huffing along the way.

Jasper observed as she brushed the crumbs from her hands, a strand of her hair falling over her brow. She was truly at ease, and if he hadn't felt the depth of her love for him before, he was seeing it then.

He tucked the loose strand behind her ear, grazing the shell, admiring her jaw line and neck. He watched the pulse quicken and fought of the monster inside of him. Locked into her gaze he arrested her lips in his.

It lasted only a few seconds. Outside in the parking lot was a voice that knocked him back. Literally. It was out of the ghosts of his memories, the owner a woman with pumpkin-colored hair. He released her to wrench his cell out of his pocket.

"Jasper?"

"Don't leave my side."

Panic. "Why? What's wrong?"

The hushed whimper outside was the answer, too soft for her to hear, and dread filled him to the brim. He didn't need to peep through the heavy flowered curtains to know what was going on below.

Jacob found Victoria.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

The Retreating Figure

"I'm going," Bella demanded. It was unimportant what was occurring outside - the thing that she was too weak to hear but sent Jasper halfway to the door. She wanted to help.

"You'll be no use to us, Bella. You'll get in the way."

"But -"

He kissed her on her lips, twice on her cheek. "Stay here. I'll be up soon, darling."

She blinked, the door slammed, and that was it. He was gone. She ran (falling only once) to the window. She shoved the curtain out of her way and anxiously searched below but the light of the room casted her reflection.

She raced to the door switching the lights off. On her way back she stumped her toe on the couch, twirled, and landed on her back. Although it was painful it was more irritating. It was not the time to be her clumsy self...

Hurriedly, Bella jumped to her feet ignoring the stabbing and flaring of her tail bone and toe. Through the window she could see down to a corner of the parking lot, shadows slinking out of the harsh street lamps.

Between a garbage dump and a wooden fence separating a fast food restaurant was an overly large animal and a woman with wild hair. Before it registered in her brain there was a third being, and she knew it to be Jasper.

To the untrained eye they appeared to be dancing, but she knew better. They were fighting. She _remembered_ how vampires fought, she vaguely _recalled_ how Jasper and Emmett killed James on her behalf.

She ran to the door, to the elevator. She waited impatiently, bouncing on the balls of her feet. It was too slow and she abandoned it taking the staircase. She slowed significantly. Tumbling again and obtaining a concussion would not help anyone. That was if she knew how she was going to help. She had to do something, she couldn't sit in that room worrying about them.

The hallways she moved down were drabbed in dizzying diamond patterns of a scratchy carpet material. The low lights did not help their cause, the walls looking more washed out than they actually were.

However, she once fell asleep in her home at Phoenix with the television on. When she woke there was a documentary about the germs in Hotels, so the walls could very well be worse, and in opposition the horrible lights were helping.

Glowing red caught her eye reading, "exit." The warm air swept by her as she ran out the door. Her bare feet pounded, stray pebbles poking her. She prayed that she didn't bleed. There would be no way for her to get out alive, and Jacob coming to her rescue would only get him killed too. It was too late for second thoughts though, to turn around and escape from the scene even if she wanted to, and she didn't.

If anything happened to either of them... She would never forgive herself. It's because of her, she just knew it. She was willing to bet all of the Cullen's money that they never had any problems before she came into their lives.

Victoria looked her way then, but in a flash of her arm Jacob was thrown crashing through the fence into the next property. There was a sound, what would have been a howl, but cut short, and she dearly hoped it wasn't what she was fearing.

Jasper lunged at Victoria and the rest Bella missed, running harder, faster, needing to be there before anything else bad happened, but her toe caught in a gauged hole halfway to her destination. There was that familiar tug on her stomach as she tumbled down.

It could've been the rip in her jeans or the snarl from a vampire. All she knew was that she was as good as dead. She had at most two more seconds to her life, because a warmness trickled over her knee. She was bleeding and with that she signed her death sentence. Signing in blood suddenly made more sense.

In those two seconds she saw Jasper. His smiling face appeared behind her lids and she mentally kissed him goodbye.

***

Bella laid sprawled in the middle of the parking lot. From there he could smell her divine blood pumping through her frantic heart. It became fresher the moment he pinned Victoria, his right arm at her throat, his teeth bared ready to severe. Hesitation was all she needed and he foolishly gave that to her glimpsing to the dotted red moisture on Bella's skinned knee and he was knocked backwards.

The sound of what happened next was deafening. They would have severe problems if any humans woke and saw. Like the soldier he instantly calculated in his head how many rooms and at most how many people would occupy them. Could they stage a fire? It would upset Bella, but if he took her away... Would she understand when he told her? Could she understand the strategy that some deaths were necessary?

He thought all of it at warp speed, and then the dumpster gave out under the force, and the unforgiving hardness of his body, ringing in the night air. It tipped upwards and sideways flailing him to the ground. All the while Bella's blood stayed fresh in his nasal cavity, a horrible torture. He kept his sights on Victoria, watching her movements with ultimate caution, not wanting to see what he knew was there.

The distracted woman leapt to her feet. She was halfway towards her, Bella's eyes were closed, readying for the assault she didn't want to witness. She was allowing it, and he knew better than to think she gave up, she was too stubborn for that. She was giving herself over, because she thought it was her fault.

Something inside of him yelled for her to get up and run. None of which wouldn't had done any good, even if by some miracle she didn't trip again.

He was pushing himself upright when a sleek black vehicle screeched to a stop ahead of them. He felt them, their haste, and the passenger side door was flung open and Edward was running to Victoria, grabbing her head and throwing her to the side like an unwanted doll.

Alice was waiting by the car with unbridled anticipation to the body coming her way, similar to a child on Christmas morning. It was broken when Jacob bounded out, racing at Victoria, his jaw latching onto her throat. In one easy twist she was jerked back down, grating stone not loud enough to drown her screams. They were quickly stifled as Alice covered her mouth.

Jasper turned back to Bella, sweeping her up in his arms before Edward could touch her. She moaned cupping her knee worriedly.

"No, Jasper. I'm bleeding."

Edward offered his arms. "Let me take her, Jazz. I can handle it."

"So can I," he snapped, and he could. Once more, Bella almost lost her life. The mere thought of it being taken, of her being gone gave him strength against his thirst that he didn't know he had. There was nothing he couldn't handle. In a finality that he thought his brother should have, he said, "she's not yours, Edward."

He flinched, but lowered his arms allowing Jasper to walk by. Only he was stopped in his tracks by the most unusual scene he'd ever witnessed.

Twenty feet from him was a pile of ash, Alice on her knees in front of the wolf. Jacob bowed, his eyes sparkling. A love, unchangeable, equitable, and great emitted from both of them. It was hardly love in its normal devalued self, it was connected, from one to the other.

Alice raked her fingers through the dark fur at the sides of his face and pressed her forehead to his muzzle. They froze like a grand sculpture.

No one noticed Edward's retreating frame in the blackness of the night.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Fade to Black

Silently, Jasper healed Bella's cut. From on top of the sink counter she couldn't help but notice the tautness of his neck. She didn't want to imagine the effort it was taking him to help her. _Love really did conquer all_, she thought.

"I'm sorry," she apologized for what must have been the tenth time. Jasper and Jacob could've been killed. Edward left. It was all of her fault.

"I told you to stay inside, Bella.. You nearly were killed. What were you thinking?"

"That I needed to help you."

"I appreciate your inane over-protectiveness, but did it cross your mind that you'd cause more trouble by trying to help?" He smoothed a beige band aid over the washed wound and peered up at her from the tile floor. "Jacob and I had it under control. What would I have done if she got to you?"

"Then change me," she said exasperated. It wasn't a processed thought, but it was true as it always was. "If I'm like you then I won't be a bother. I could help!"

He chuckled, standing to tower over her, her eyes level with his navel. "It will be of no matter how strong you are. I will protect and love you all the same. There's no hurry, but if you're ready, I trust you to make that decision. Believe me, Bella, I have no qualms about you being changed. I _want_ that. I want you to want it too, and I can feel that. You really do."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, scooting closer to him. For good measure she circled his waist with her legs, pressing their groins together. It was a shame they were clothed. "I'm glad, because this is what I want. Forever."

He kissed her cheek moaning as her fingertips trailed hot paths down his arms to where his hands rested on her hips. "Can't," he spoke of their position, of where it was obviously leading. "Jacob and Alice are out there."

She grumbled but detached herself from him. She couldn't help herself, she caressed his chest once before retracting and leaned back.

Those two did owe explanations, it was obvious that Jacob imprinted on her. Bella knew the signs, and it was a dead-giveaway when he looked at her as though Alice was his sun. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen - Jasper aside.

Her two best friends, his mortal enemy and his sister. There was not much she had to know, what was done was done, there was only one question, and that was the fate of Edward.

Regardless of what her and Edward were she cared for him. It hurt her to hurt him, but there was no taking back what happened. Edward did teach her something as he swore he would. He was bad for her. He left her. He hurt her.

All the same, he was family, and she loved him. Jasper and Alice loved him too, and in time Jacob would tolerate him. It would all come together, because she could see it in a way that she could only fathom how Alice saw everything. They were meant to be a family.

Jasper picked her up and set her down. They walked out to the living room, and there on the couch were Jacob and Alice, hip to hip, no breathing room between them. They looked to be comfortable, hand in hand, forehead to forehead, silence a welcomed party. That would soon end.

Jasper and Bella sat across from them on the floor. She observed the stark differences that were the couple.

Alice, a vampire, pale and small, gifted with an ability that was useless in regards to the man next to her. Jacob, a werewolf, dark and muscular, whose sole responsibility was to kill her.

Yet, in spite of those differences they fit. They were perfect, and she saw light and peace when they gazed at one another. It took her breath away, filing her with happiness for them. In a way, they were the same, both happy and committed to who they were and where they belonged. She didn't know how she didn't see it before. They were a match.

"Edward heard Victoria," Alice began explaining as Jacob and her broke apart. "After you left, he heard her mind. She didn't know Edward was there, but I saw what was going to happen and he told me what was in her mind. We had a lucky break that she was thinking through the past few months. Guess she was making certain there were no loose ends.

"Laurent was staying at the Denali clan, attempting to obtain a vegetarian life." She rolled her eyes. "He failed within the week, but Carlisle told the clan of our move and Laurent told Victoria. She had a revenge planned out, to take your mate for Edward taking hers, but what good was it if you weren't with Edward? She kept a watch on you from afar, in case it changed. If she saw Edward she would have killed you. I had to make it look as though he moved on." She set a sorrowful glance to Jasper. "That's why we were in that position." She turned to gaze at Bella again. "I would never hurt you, Bella, I wouldn't betray you."

She nodded slowly. It chilled her to think of a ruthless vampire staking her out for years. What if Victoria got thirsty one night? What of Charlie? A million different things could have happened.

Bella hastily redirected her thoughts, but she was surer it was due to Jasper soothing her, his hand in hers. "What about Edward," she asked.  
"He's on his way to Forks. Do you remember the c.d. he made you? The picture?"

"Yes." The picture taken at Charlie's house, the disc of his music, one track that held the lullaby he composed for her. She treasured them, and they were gone, just like him. He was true to his word that there wouldn't be any memories.

"He hid them under a floorboard in your old bedroom." She rolled her eyes. "Edward can be so dramatically childish."

"What didn't you see," Jasper asked, confidence in his voice that there were other things his sister was not telling.

She didn't stir nor blinked. "He attached himself to me. When I showed him everything I saw of you two, I didn't see that he would do that. He didn't let me go on the way out to the car. The whole way here, he held my hand, and he was... I had your scent on me, Bella. I think that's what was keeping him together." Daintily she shrugged. "He always kept in mind that he could come back.... You had time – or a change – and he hadn't. It was a huge blow. I didn't know what to do, and I let him cling to me...

"I didn't see Jacob, obviously... Or anything that was happening. All I could do was follow what I saw of your tracks, and take a educated guess where you were. After many centuries with someone, it gets easy."

Jacob squeezed her tiny hand, lost in his. "You saw that we were safe. Not enough noise had been made to draw attention. Hard to believe with the garbage bin..."

"Not many care," Jasper asserted. "There aren't many families here, and they're the ones most likely to investigate."

Alice smiled at Jacob, glittering and light and Bella had to advert her gaze. Jasper stroked her ankle, easing her worry and jangled nerves, but still, she had to ask.

"What will happen to him? He'll be alright, won't he?"

"Jasper, you should go," Alice piped up.

"Why," he questioned harshly.

"He's our brother, and he needs to know everything is okay."

"That sounds like your expertise, Alice."

"It has to come from you. Your his brother, and now you're with Bella. It'll mean more from you; he'll know he hasn't lost all of his family. Please, Jazz."

Thinking of the people that she came to love so much that could be ripped apart because of her decision and beating heart, sent a guilt through her. Jasper calmed her further, pushing the emotion into her looking quizzical.

She didn't explain right away, only pondering how she couldn't allow it to happen, for her to be the cause of what was once a happy coven. Jasper could calm her, excite her, and he didn't need his powers for that, but no matter what he did she would worry for others.

Bella laid her hand on his. "Jasper, I don't want this family broken over me. As much as we need Emmett and Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme, we need Edward. We just do."

"He's been alone for far too long," Alice added, "he needs us."

Jasper brought Bella's hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles. "For you." He smirked at Jacob. "Hope you're ready, the girls run this coven."

Jacob didn't deter from his loving attention of Alice. "I'm ready."

***

He hated leaving her, he hated that he was the one that had to keep everyone together. It was not as though he was in the midst of the makeshift family, he was on the fringe. He liked it that way, after all, he had only went to the Cullen's in the first place because Alice promised a better life. He had nothing to lose and as always, she was right. He loved his family, he loved his new life, but leaving Bella to bring his brother home? That he loathed.

Jasper was well above the speed limit as usual, the tiny needle nearing two-hundred miles-per-hour. The green scenery raced past him, the road feeble underneath his tires. Touches of the sun hadn't lit the sky and he took full advantage. The helmet was packed in the case behind his calf, the jacket with it. He enjoyed the wind fighting a useless battle against him.

For the duration of his drive he vowed he would think no more of Edward. He instead imagined Bella, and the welcoming he would be granted when he returned after his mission. It was a shame that he had one single time with her.

He thought of her face as they made love, the arch of her back, the nails on his substantial rocking waist. Her aroma bathed him and he paid her in ecstasy. Her emotions were nearly impossible to feel, coupled with his in ultimate bliss it overtook them. Falling into her was falling into a million stars, there was nothing that could've made him more joyous.

While he was making vows, he made another. After the mess that they were in was settled he would have her again. Before school started he would buy a house nearby that they would live in. They would have their privacy then.

One more vow... When Bella asked, he would change her. He would give her anything. He would make her happy. Happy forever.

***

Bags of food from neighboring restaurants covered the coffee table, the aroma of soy sauce. All except a small portion of one Bella ate, Jacob scarfed down the rest and she wondered where he was putting it. A stomach as flat as his couldn't possibly hold that much, but it did, and though Alice had only left for a good thirty minutes to fetch the food, she didn't leave his side when she came back.

It was amazing to watch them. They were utterly and completely comfortable with each other. Though Jacob talked, rattling on about his history (much shorter than Alice's), they communicated on a level that was all their own. It shouldn't have been possible for a couple that just met to be emotionally connected, to be so in every way that they were, but they were.

An ache grew, born from her heart. She missed Jasper, he had to go but she wished he didn't. The events of that night egged at her, keeping her from closing her eyes. Worries nagged at her and she wanted more than anything then to curl up on his chest, for him to ebb her distracting emotions.

"He'll be home at three tomorrow," Alice foresaw, smiling slightly, teasing but kind.

Jacob grinned at Bella and tugged on her arm. She relented, moving to lean on his legs, her head propped on his knee. He stroked her hair as Alice nuzzled under his arm.

The television flashed, an info-commercial silently advertising a "miracle-mop." Images continued to flash, but the sound was too low for her human ears, her thoughts laid on Jasper and Edward.

Who knew that the seams of the family would rely on the very one who was not only the newest, but never in the center? Somehow, Jasper became the thread that tied them all together. Without even one of them, the family would be in tatters, like an ancient quilt that lost a strand and fell into strips.

"Bells? Why are you smiling?"

"When I wake up, Jasper will be here."

Jacob's tone became grave, as though he was at the bedside of a sick and dying friend. He may as well have been. "Honest truth here. Do you plan on..." He wrinkled his nose.

"You're with Alice, Jake. Does it bother you that I'm going to be like her?"

He touched her neck, right over her pulse point. "I like you the way you are now. Have you thought it through? What about Charlie and Renee?"

"They'll be fine, they have their own lives. With Sue around I don't have to worry about Charlie. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"I'm sure that's Alice's area." He beamed at his new and forever love, and turned back to Bella. "As long as you're happy, Bells, I guess that's all that matters."

"Thanks, Jake."

"For the record, I don't like it."

"You don't have to."

Alice pecked a kiss to his brow. "It will be fine. I see that."

Like sunshine on ocean, he peered down to the top of her spiky hair. "Whatever you say, Al."

***

At two-hundred and fifty miles per hour, Jasper sped down slick black roads. He was thankful for the Washington clouds and rain that hid his glittering body from the sun. It was a good day. It would be perfect if he was home – home meaning with Bella.

As he came closer to the Forks line after a good three hours drive, he thought of what he would say. How did one tell his brother that he loved the girl he left behind? Jasper's world revolved around her, and he was not giving her up, most especially to someone that hurt her.

The rain fell harder, a sheet of million sparkling droplets in front of him. The woodsy green surrounded him as he traveled further into one of the many of old hometowns he had. He first went to their former house, the mud of the dirt road encasing in his tires, and caking on his boots and jeans. The cover of the trees dripped rapidly, but cleared his perfect vision.

The Cullen's mini-mansion stood dark and void. He felt nothing. He backtracked out of there, driving to the school. It made sense that to the romantic to go where he first saw her, but once more, there was nothing to be felt.

He could have called Alice, to have her tell him where Edward was, but in his procrastination of what he had to do, he didn't. He sat on his bike in the empty parking lot of the high school staring into the darkened cafeteria where Edward and Bella first saw each other. It was where him and Bella saw each other too.

Beautiful was not a strong enough word for what she was. Her pure emotions struck him, even from across the wide area, and all the petty feelings that were between them from pettier teenagers. He kept his eyes down, focused on his prop of a meal. If he stared at her she would be scared off, and he didn't want that. There was a particular need inside of him to protect her.

He saw her. She saw him. However, in the company of Edward, her eyes didn't stay on him. They did then. She chose him, and he chose her.

Lightening struck in the distance, and suddenly Jasper knew where to find Edward. It should've been the first place he should've gone.

Off he drove, to the meadow, leaving his motorcycle at the edge of the woods, running the rest of the way. He still did not have any words to be spoken. He couldn't comfort him, and naturally he would be the last person to do so - despite his abilities. It would have to take more than that, he would have to do it the way someone else would. He steeled himself physically and emotionally.

Light shone ahead. It wasn't much against the clouds, but it was there in emerald glimmers. He stopped at the precipice of the flawlessly round meadow.

In the middle of the drowning wildflowers was Edward, his head hung low to the ground, soaked, his hair streaming rivers down the cut lines of his cheek and jawbone like mountains to overcome. The depression bowled Jasper to his knees.

There, the brothers sat. Lost and found love, they sat, yards apart. The rain continued to cascade over them, and it faded to black as Jasper closed his eyes, wishing he was as dead as his children.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Why Her

The clouds parted and the sun poured in. It was six at night and it dimmed to leave again, this time for the moon. Neither of the men had moved, but it was time that they did.

Jasper stood and at humans pace he sat across from Edward. The depression receded from him as it had, but only just, in a shamed undertone.

"You let her go," Jasper said, knowing not what else there was to say. The truth was better than nothing, the silence they were living in had to end.

However, he felt worse at Edward's graveyard voice, hushed sadness, resentment, and acceptance. It was nearly as bad to hear, as it was to feel.

"You were and are aware of my reason. It was for her safety, Jasper. She could have died, I myself have had too many close calls, and you almost killed her then, your teeth came too close. You can slip now most especially. That night," he growled, "at the park."

He flinched in remembrance of the day he lunged at her, and slightly guilty at the rainy night they spent in the park. Edward saw and grimaced too. "I was careful. She trusts me and I cannot break that trust."

"She trusted me too."

"I never hurt her. What happened on her birthday will never happen again."

He glowered, ice in his eyes. "The park should never happen again either. And how can you be certain? She's not graceful. All it will take is one millisecond of her everyday clumsiness. That cut was half a second."

"She wants to be changed. I want her to be changed. There won't be any danger when she is."

"I don't want that for her, to lose her humanity. She's perfect the way she is."

"I love her. It won't differ if she's human or vampire, she's still Bella, just as I loved her when she was the zombie you turned her into." Edward flinched once more, but he kept on. "I've been protecting her and will continue to do so. You must understand, Edward, she's her own person. She appreciates making choices for herself and I allow her that. She allows me to be who I am without declination. It's a small piece of what we have, barely worth noting in comparison to how perfect we are for each other, and I hate the time we've wasted."

He looked up, his black eyes haunted. "You expect forgiveness?" There was a strain in his voice, a tightened cord ready to break.

Before Jasper could say a word, before he could calm him, Edward lunged. Instinctively he laid flat, pushing his feet against Edward's chest as his teeth snapped inches from his scarred cheek. Lifting him up, he effortlessly threw him over his head. He rolled and crouched in time to see his brother tumbling to the ground, mud splattering, wildflowers uprooted and crushed.

Edward too was in his crouch quickly, the mud dripping from his copper locks, growling furiously at him with his teeth bared. It was not defensive, he was preparing to attack. Jasper's brother... His brother would kill him.

The rain fell harder, but they pretended not to notice. The wind that whistled through the thick trees foregone their attention. For that moment, time stood as still as them.

It was not their first fight. Edward and Jasper were men, and like most men (species be damned) fought in competition. It was never serious, they played, but they played to win. Neither of them could beat the other, not with Edward's mind-reading abilities and Jasper's experience. They would go on all night until Esme exasperatedly called them in.

No one would call them in then... They were alone...

"Do not sedate me!" Edward bellowed.

Slowly, Jasper stood. He wouldn't defend himself. He wouldn't do a thing to stop Edward attacking him, even if it was only restraining him. Jasper did disobey his requests. He didn't stay away from Bella, and he fell in love. He betrayed his own family, and he wouldn't do so again. He wouldn't hurt the family by hurting Edward. He wouldn't hurt himself by living with the regret of doing that.

"You want forgiveness," Edward spat out accusingly.

"No," Jasper responded unwaveringly. "I don't need it. I have what I need. Now, find yours."

"You're willing to kill her! To take her life!"

"I'm willing to give her what she wants."

"She's human, Jasper!"

"We were too."

"We didn't have a choice!"

"So let her have hers."

Helplessly he slipped out of his couch, descending into the mud once more. "It's not that easy. I can't live without her."

"She's our family, you'll never have to be without her."

Edward moaned. "Why her? What is it about her emotions that keeps you? Do you want to be around worry all the time? That's what she does, she worries, she feels inadequate."

He smiled, knowing exactly what Edward was doing, his small mind-games. He couldn't see it, not beyond all the pain, but there was a bottom line, and it was that Jasper loved her more than anything the world or any other could offer. He felt he had waited his entire existence for her. He wasn't about to let her go, not for anyone.

"It's not her emotions, brother. Even in her worst state there is love and concern. She's selfless in everything she does. She's the half of me I thought was dead. When my family died I thought it was the end of me. It should have been. Then I met Bella, and I did try to stay a distance from her. It's not supposed to be that way, it never was. I am sorry, but trust me, you will find your half too. It's always where you least expect it." Who would have thought that he would've ended up with a teenage human girl?

"She's changed you," he commented dryly.

"I'm happy."

He closed his eyes, preparing for the answer to the question he was going to have to ask. "Alice... Her and the mutt?"

"Yes."

He bowed his head, and tugged at his hair, coloring it with mud once more. "I thought..."

"She told us." Jasper grimaced at the pain and hopelessness, like that of distinguishing a flame of promise.

"She smelled like her. She was light and gratifying, and I believed for a few hours that my destiny could lie with her. We've known each other for many years and if she didn't let go of my hand then she wouldn't leave me either."

"We make our own destiny."

"That... Has become ostensible when Jacob saw her," he noted sarcastically. "I'm alone again."

"Don't worry for your future, we're going to be living a long time."

"That's the problem."

He thought of what he overheard between Edward and Carlisle, Edward's plans to have the Volturri kill him if Bella didn't survive James. She barely did, and that memory was painful for every one of them. What they came so close to losing...

"You're not going to Italy." It was an order. Jasper wouldn't have anyone pain Bella and that went double for Edward, who would ultimately send Bella back into her state if anything happened to him. She would blame herself, and he would not permit that.

"It was a thought."

"You'll find someone, Edward. You won't be alone forever." He never had to be. There was one woman who never gave up on him, the strawberry blond goddess of snow. "What about Tanya?"

"Don't set me up, Jasper."

"She's waited around for you for centuries. As a single gentleman you are most obligated to take her out."

"That one date is all it'll come to. I'm a conquest, that is what she does to men."

"That is what she does to _human_. You'd think if it was a conquest she'd have yielded years ago, but she still hopes. I feel it every time our covens are together."

"You were wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"Not about that."

"Then about what?"

Edward smiled kindly, though the anguish hadn't left his features. "You are good at this."

Jasper smiled back and held out a hand, a peaceful gesture. Without hesitation, Edward took it.

***

Bella paced the living room. She wore the beige rug in a line from the back room door to the desk at the opposite wall. Eight out of ten of her nails were chewed down, and she started on the ninth one, expertly careful that she didn't bleed. One cut was bad enough.

"_You could have this miracle duster -" _Jacob clicked the television off turning on the sofa to face her. "Bells, will you sit down, already? What is pacing like a lunatic going to do?"

She ignored him."Alice, what -"

"Ten-fifteen," she answered as if she had done a hundred times - or seven. "It hasn't changed in the last two hours. He's on his way." From where she was perched on the sofa Alice inspected her nails. "I have to give you a manicure..."

She wanted to curse her perfect eyesight, but Bella checked the clock on the desk, though she had been staring at the luminescent numbers for too long. Each minute passed slower. "And -"

"And they reconciled. Really, Bella, do you want gray hair forever? Calm down."

"Edward -"

"Will be fine. I _see_. He'll be more than fine."

Bella stopped and inhaled deeply. She never bet against Alice and she wasn't starting then, but she had to know. "What do you mean he'll be more than fine?"

She glowed as she smiled. "He's going to Alaska. Remember Carlisle telling you about our extended family there, the Denali's? Tanya is one of the coven, she's loved Edward since they met, but he can be oblivious."

"Couldn't he read her mind?"

"Oh, sure, but he saw other things too. She has a thing for human men, but Edward was different for her, she loves him despite him being immortal, but you can lie through your thoughts. Needless to say he wasn't receptive before. Thanks to Jasper, he is now."

Jacob guffawed. "Because he had no one else to go to."

Alice shook her head in slight disagreement, her eyes to the television as though she was still watching it. "Sort of... What else can he lose? I see it, Bella, he'll fall in love with her. He won't be alone for much longer."

Bella sighed in relief and plopped beside her, leaning her head on her shoulder. She was glad for Edward's future, for not worrying about him anymore. That was secure, but Jasper... After hearing Edward's certain debate on her life would he want her still? Maybe he decided to take his side, and he would tell her that her life was too precious. What would she do then? How many times could something be taken from her until she was beyond anyone's repair?

Jacob gripped her hand. "Trust her."

"I do, Jake."

"Three minutes," Alice announced softly.

She looked to the dreaded clock and waited out the longest three minutes of her life.

***

There were the babble of voices, the deafening decimals of the planes, and the swirling emotions of the rushed people, happiness and sadness mixed. It was always full of pumping blood, and was second worst to hospitals. At least there, there was some happiness. Hospitals were depressing tinged with relief.

Jasper slowed the bike to a stop outside of the white stone and blue-green glass building. He was behind a new black car (he could smell the leather interior), and beside a gray truck that appeared to have been pulled out of a dumpster. The speed he was going gave him several rude gestures, those including from the dual opposite vehicles.

Edward who loosely held his shoulders on the way, released him, swinging his leg off the motorcycle. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Say hi to the Denali's for me."

He nodded, continuing that pulled look of apprehensive. "Tanya is beautiful, funny and smart, but I worry..."

"You're more to her than a conquest."

The day was in their favor, puffs of steel-colored clouds wisping over them. There was a dull shine where the sun was strapped, desperately attempting to peek through.

"Thank you," Edward said. "For making her happy."

"You'll do the same for Tanya."

"Maybe," he responded carefully, not entirely sold on the idea of him and her, but curious and attracted enough to try. When there was nothing to lose a person would do anything.

"I'll take good care of her."

"I know you will." He turned his face up to the sky, where the sun was, as if he would have tried to direct himself away from the truth. He knew it was true. His brother was the best for her.

Horns blared behind him, but Jasper didn't blink. Only Alice knew when the next time they would all be together again. "Visit us soon."

"We will."

Feebly smiled at the use of the word "we." Deep down, Edward knew that Tanya was for him. That word testified it. "See you later."

"Later, my brother."

Revving the engine he squeezed through the traffic, leaving Edward to catch his flight to Alaska. Getting a plane ticket last minute would be easy, as Jasper stated before: Money went a long ways.

Horns continued to blare angrily at him, but as before, he paid no mind. He focused on where he was going: Into the arms of Bella. For the first time he was displeased at his bike's speed, but a few miles away from the hotel he imagined that Alice was giving her a specific time of his arrival. It wouldn't come soon enough...

***

On the countdown of Jasper's return she dozed at two, and jerked awake abruptly at one. Bella sat straight on the edge of the couch, chewing on her final nail. She stared at the door, waiting. and waiting...

Jacob heaved a disgusted sigh, and she felt Alice's arm graze across her back to soothe her new lover. Next to her he relaxed, but she didn't.

Thirty seconds were left and she had ran out of nails. She would tell if he changed his mind about her. She remembered her last days with Edward. Would it be different with Jasper? Was he a better liar than even Edward was? Or was he more truthful? He never lied to her before, and it was more likely that he would say that his brother changed his mind. And he would leave. Like Edward. And she'd be alone.

She was certain - more certain than she had been the last time. It was not something she would recover from. Not again. Jasper would be the death of her one way or another.

She could've asked Alice what would happen, but that wasn't the way she wanted to find out. Bella wanted to see it. if her fears were true... If she wasn't being irrational...

There was a small beep, and the brass knob turned. She leapt out of her seat, took one step, and tumbled harshly to the floor - or almost. Alice sat her upright, releasing her hips once she was steady.

Bella doubted that even Jasper - the vampire soldier, was prepared for what happened. The second he opened that door, showing his expectant but clear face, his lithe figure, she tackled his torso, squeezing with all of her weak human strength.

There was a sharp intake of breath, and instantly she froze. Silently she rebuked herself. She should've known better. One would think she hadn't ever encountered the supernatural before.

"Sorry," she muttered as she tried to untangle herself from him, but his hands gripped her back firmly.

With a portion of his remaining air, he hissed lowly. "No."

They remained there for a good minute. She comforted herself by acknowledging that if he didn't have control Alice would have intervened. He had to be doing well. That is, considering how well a bloodthirsty vampire could be with his careless human girlfriend. In respect, she was lucky to have lived as long as she did.

Finally, he breathed.

She propped her chin up. "Better?"

"Greatly." He kissed her lips hurriedly, passionately hungry.

When they parted, she took a cautious reading of his expression, fearing that she would see the hard mask Edward gave years ago. But there wasn't one. His eyes, their sweet honey tone were lit, his smile genuinely wide.

"You still want me," she blurted out.

As if he understood (which could've well been the case), his visage didn't alter from its radiance. "Forever," he claimed, and he met their lips again.

* * *

A/N: This is the end of the story! I hope that you all enjoyed it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know some of you were hoping that you'd see Edward with someone else, but to be fair this isn't exactly his love story.

If you want to know what I'm doing in the world of writing, please feel free to visit my homepage located in my profile. You'll be able to see where else I'm at through there.


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